Gather your sword and board and get.

Ready for adventure, because it's time for pain campaign. Three, two, one. Let's roll to we welcome you back to our unmitigated disaster of a d and D campaign with friends. We ask the question of what happens when we come out of coming of age summer camp with d and D, the dice of fate. Well, we're gonna find that out here. Let's get started. From the murky bottom of time before time, following a rare mushroom instead of stone, we have Mike playing gold or Firebeard, the honest to goodness dwarven Druid who is old enough for a beard and knows how to use the shileleh.

That's me. Hi, everybody.

When this warforce lays its hands upon thee, you better hope for some divine intervention, because wooden metal still has pain and emotion, especially when there's a little seagull flying by. Mike Levine is TR 33, the war forge Paladin.

What's up, everybody?

When tracking is needed across a path that seems lost, or an arrow needs to find its target that seems too far away, we look no further than Bridget playing bellus, our tiefling ranger who hates plans, loves adventure, and who'd rather pull out our bow than engage in pointless conversation.

Hi.

Hi. And I'm Michael Hite, off key and rated rock as always, I play seven, the bard. But it's not about me. I'm going to pass it off. Liam, take us away as the school.

Cracks and then shed a tear. One single, I will say. You can either make me a I catch it and put it back into your roof or investigation check.

It doesn't matter. They both equally suck.

All right.

Either way, I get a three. That's not very good.

Yeah, you've noticed as you're trying to almost examine springtish, there's a green, yellow and pink mush.

Ew.

Okay, anyone else want to do anything? Regards to support his body, or are you moving on?

I think I want to cast precitation on Goldor to clean him up. Sure.

I wanna swing down from the tree and like, not touch this bore, but, like, look at it.

How are you looking at it?

What would that be? Like an anchor?

Like, I wanna figure out, like. Yeah, like, what is this?

Like, make me a perception check. Hold on.

Before anybody does anything, I think I should use my little magical hand to go over there and kind of mess around in it.

Woody. Okay. Seems like your hand's gonna get dirty.

My magical hand on a 19th perception. You noticed that where probably its nasal cavity was where some you can't quite tell at this point because it's been kind of crushed. But it could have been maybe something, a spore or fungus type of thing that was living in this war.

I go mushroom boy.

Yeah, you gonna this is this something.

That you may wanna look at?

With that, I will allow gold. Or to make another one more check with advantages.

And you also have the bardic inspiration in case you wanna take samples of cotton.

Would you say it was a strange fungus this time?

It was strange.

Oh, a 19 plus one is 20.

Absolutely fungi strange.

No, no. I have a sample of a strange fungus.

Oh, yeah? In the bottle, right from the island.

Oh, so you're curious if it matches rotten death boar.

From your examinations of this, you would say this is some sort of cousin to the fungus that you collected.

Oh, and he said, master too.

The properties. The properties are certainly different, but they're meant to have nefarious effects on things. I'll say with what was, you made a nature role and you got a. Yes, I got a 19 plus 120 with a 19. And based on the close to it, you can tell that this one not only, obviously, because you now can fully confirm after chilling touch, that was an undead creature, but you're able to ascertain that this yellow green fungus, spore like thing was able to enhance its constitution. That's why it was able to come back and make one last swipe before being fully decimated.

Can I take a sample of this fungus here?

Spores left. You absolutely may try to make a careful sample. You don't have any tools, correct. You might have some vials, but you don't have any specific tools.

I have an herbalism kit.

That is for making.

For making stuff?

Yeah. Yeah. So not for anti inflation healing.

A small knife, if that helps you out.

No, I will say this is the type of kit that would be able to help you. Are you proficient with it, by any chance?

With the herbalism kit?

Yeah. Let's go to your features and traits, or rather on your front page here. You are proficient with it. Yes.

Feels like it should be, right?

Yes, absolutely.

It's under proficiency.

Yes. So make me a d 20 roll for this collection with advantage.

Sort of makes your plate collection seem not so odd anymore. Not so strange.

You got your proficiency, which is two. So 18 becomes 20 becomes 20. You are successfully able to collect this.

Sample, make sure you label them, don't mix them up.

So with weird boar fungus with that segue. This was a good segue. So Goldwater used a tool. We are going to in this campaign be using a optional rule from Xanatharse to use tool proficiency. So if you are already proficient in that tool, you get certain advantages to checks related to that kit or to that tool. However, I will say if you don't either have tools or are proficient in any tools, there will be opportunities at camp where you can perhaps gain some more knowledge of how to use certain tools.

Interesting. And does jack of all trades give me a proficiency bonus of tools I don't know how to use?

Let's take a look where is under your features and traits.

Yeah, it's jack of all trades. You can add half your proficiency bonus rounded down to any ability check that you make that doesn't already include it.

Correct. So if you aren't proficient in something, like, for example, you're not proficient in intimidation, you'd be able to add instead of plus four, plus five. I don't know if that's already included in your modifiers, though. I would think it is.

It should be.

It looks like it is included already.

Oh, so it's.

So you don't have to think about that.

Oh, so it. So on the left hand side, like, if it says half proficiency, next is.

Like, proficient in it. Yeah.

So then you would get the bonus to it.

It's already added, correct?

Oh, it's already added, yes.

I'll say if you're making a tool check right now, you're only proficient in your musical instruments.

Yeah.

You. You would already get that through performance, it looks like. So we'll say if you get a newer tool, any other tool that you're not proficient in, you get plus one.

Okay, cool.

Yeah. Awesome.

Like digging for death spores.

Yes, yes. Amazing. So you collect your spores, you make your insights, and you finally are approaching camp Shimmer Lake. Finally. This is the moment, guys.

Close.

Turn back.

So you approach camp Shimmer Lake, which is encircled by very wide, sturdy wooden palisade. That is the type that allows for very swift communication between messengers. That can run atop its broad walkway. You can still see scouts on top. And looking out right now, the gates are open, and you see kind of like a line of people just through the gates. So I assume we all enter.

Yeah, yeah.

So some of the first, as you also see this line of people, some of the sites that do strike you is that you can see further to the north, even though it's far away, it's a very large building, very intricately woven wooden building that looks like it was the only way to get this shape out of wood would have been to through magic and then you can also see, in the far northwest, Lake Shimmer. And you see a variety of cabins to the east and across all the other camps. So it's a pretty mildly wooded area. So you can see a host of other buildings, but you can't quite make them out just from where you are yet. Right now, you see a halfling at a table that's questioning groups of people as they're coming in. We'll get to that in a moment. And then to the halflings right to your left, you see a middle aged man with gray hair and a beard wearing some wizards robes with arcane symbols on them. And then you hear the halflings say, next, please. And you see a group of wannabe heroes approach him. Let's see here.

Oh, I aspire to be a wannabe hero.

What sort of experience? You saved a cat from a tree. I'm sorry, but you're quite not cut out for it. Please return home. Next. And so the line is continuing. You're getting closer to your chance. Everyone make me a perception check as this line is moving.

Well, guys, we saved more than cats from trees. Thank God.

Ten.

At 20.

Wow. What is happening?

Well, I have negative 18. I have negative one to perception, though, so. 1922.

No, it's still 20. Nat, 20 is always 20. We're gonna homebrew the net. Twenty's an hour.

18. Wow. You are on 522.

Okay. Not net, I'm assuming?

No.

Okay.

18.

Tree.

Oh, my God.

On your nat, 20. The halfling that's checking people in is clearly not the adventurer type. This is not a person who is, like, going to be teaching you things. The wizard, on the other hand, looks eminently powerful, graceful, a little bored, if anything. But he's waving his wand up and down the campers that are accepted, and he's, like, granting them. Okay, nothing dangerous. Next. And you see that he's scanning them for magical dangers and other trouble bootlegged things that could be brought into camp. Yeah.

Okay, so do you want to share.

That with the group or no?

Oh, yes.

I will definitely share that with the group because I seem to be making the wrong choices on this adventure.

Does that mean, like, magical dangers isn't.

Like, anything magical or something that would be, like. So something that a, has to be magical in nature. A lot of things magical b, could be considered a danger to the camp.

Okay, so here's.

You have, like, a magical weapon that's not gonna be, like. That's, like, your weapon, but, like, if you have, like, a magical bomb or something like that.

Like, airport security. But yeah, for the camp.

But, like, if you brought in, like, you know, death, like, spores of deptitude.

Bag of holding that, if destroyed, can.

Send you to a different.

You would know, like, a bag of holding would be fine.

It's fine. Wait, so would a wizard be able to tell what's inside of a bag of holding?

Probably not.

You want to sneak anything? Security?

I mean, like, I don't think we have anything.

Like, I mean, we just have our magical sneak, right? Wings and amulets.

But they're not dangerous.

Dangerous?

Would our friend with a spores have a problem?

Make me an investigation check.

Golder's got, like, master sport.

We don't know what he has.

Holder is a secret entity to its.

Advantage, given the situation.

More importantly, does Golder know what he has?

Oh, God. I did worse.

A nine.

A nine.

No, that's still fine. That was low dc. So you realize that in order for that spore to have done what did, it would have needed magical meddling, huh?

Oh, there's some evil meddling in there. Evil magic.

Wanna put your weird mushrooms in my bag, or. What's up? Good.

Bag of mushroom holdings.

Put them in the bag.

I'll give them back. Trust me, I don't want them.

Put them in the bag of holdings.

Okay.

It feels like you're going to a fish concert.

So while there's only, like, a group or two ahead of you, you see three goblins walk into camp.

Oh, no.

One of them is a hobgoblin of, like, small stature. One of them is, like, a regular goblin. Don't do it with, like, daggers at his side. And then the last is a bugbear, which is like a large, like, almost like, hairy orcish type of thing. Even though it's a goblin, they're all goblinoids. And the halfling pauses. Ah, yes. Please wait one moment. Master Zargoth. Yes, we were expecting you. You can please make your way around to the side. You see that? This group is, like, all bloodied up. And what's goldor and Bella with your passive processions? You hear mentions of a boar.

Also, this is the master.

Oh, nice. If you speak orcish, would you be able to understand? I'm sorry? If you speak goblin, would I understand them?

I do.

I do too.

I will say. They were saying this in common again. They're the ones that were looking roughed up.

I'm just letting you know, this could be the master.

The wizard takes his wand and is like. Please hold on one moment. I still have to. Yes, we know that you are accepted, but you have to scan you regardless. Any scans goblins. And he says you're good. Go ahead.

Perception check on the wizard, please.

What are you trying to percept?

I just want to know if what he was, if he seemed off or if that seemed truthful. That would.

Insight check, please.

Oh, sorry. So 17 plus. I said 20.

Again. Yeah, the anything seemed fishy, so. No, he's like. You just tell that he's kind of like mild, mildly bored by the events that are going on. Nothing fishy. He's. His body language seems to indicate that he was just accepting the situation, being truthful. Nothing fishy.

Okay, thank you.

What was his name? What did they call him?

Sargoth.

Master. What?

Sargoth. Why would.

Wait a second. Collins, go back to the beginning. Why would this guy want to.

And that was a hobgoblin who was wearing robes, by the way.

Why does this guy want to send a boar to come kill us? Because it said. The boar said specifically you.

True. Oh, so you come from a long line of problems.

I'm sorry, guys.

I'm the problem. Maybe there's something. Maybe we got to look into your past.

I'm just saying.

That's okay, man.

Something here. There's something here. There's pieces to a puzzle. I'm putting the pieces together.

Well, they're going into camp.

They skip the line.

Ooh, I'm waiting for Bridget to throw a ring in that guy.

No, I was gonna say, like, if they're going into camp, we could eventually find them. It's not like they're going anywhere.

So there's finally only one more group ahead of you. And the halfling goes, let's see this rich of experience. And he starts reading over the letter. I see here you defeated some bears that were chasing people in the woods. You know what? Fine. We only have space for two more groups. You'll be one of them. Go ahead. Various beasts. Battlestar Galactica. What?

Well said.

And finally, it is your turn. Oh, sorry. One other thing. Before the group goes, not that you've been accepted, before you go and get scanned by my friend Eldrin here. Let's see. You have a bit of experience only killing bears. And he starts doing some math on the paper. You got your cabin and training expenses and your starting items. That is going to be 3000 gold.

Oh, no. This is like name of the witch. We are in trouble.

You can see like the group in front of you, like visibly, like crying and be like, I will never financially recover from this but they give over all their gold and the halfling goes, you realize this is only a thousand gold between the lots of you. And they all say, yeah, fine, you'll have to work it off and pay back the camp over the course of the summer. And then they go in. And now it is your turn.

That's gonna be expensive. Hello, good sir.

So I walk up.

Oh, good.

You're pretty much the last group online. So Aldrin's getting a head start. And he's starting to scan you as you're talking to the halfling.

Hi.

Can we maybe let Mister Karizma do the talking?

Hello?

I don't think he's talking to you.

He's talking about me.

Hi, I know who he's talking about. In addition to the writ of us clearing out the dangers of a brewery of enlarged rats and a spider that took form of a molten large beast, we also protected a ship with harvests.

Everybody has a story. Just give me your writs.

Fair enough.

I like her.

She's just straight to business.

Straight up.

I have plus 400 charisma.

Oh, you are charismatic. Can I. I'm gonna give her the Ritz. But can I use. Can you use persuasion to try to tell about our dealings with the harpies?

Go ahead. And they're going to open the writs as you're doing it?

Yeah, nothing fancy. I just want to let them know about things that weren't listed on the writ.

What about the genie that we fought?

Go ahead, make the expression check.

Okay. Nope, hit the keyboard. Sorry. 17.

Listen, I'm going to stop you there. The board of trustees do not care about what is not on your official writs.

Fair enough.

Okay, you got it. So let's see here. You killed a giant spider. Some giant rats for a lord cromby. Very nice. Which one?

The senior.

Oh, great. They're twins, but fine. Oh yeah, and then he looks at the. Oh, you helped. Leah is on apple water with the haunted ship, it appears. Very nice. You have two admirable writs of experience here. So, let's see. You'll be getting a cabin from us. The cabin. It starts off very tight quarters. You're all going to be great friends by the end of the summer. I just know it. However, the great thing about our package is that included in our fees upon your full graduation to hero, if you will, we can teleport the cabin to a place of your choosing. And you can choose to upgrade your cabin over time if you have the coin.

That was that last part.

Coin? The fine print.

Additionally, we also have your starting equipment here for you that we give to all groups. Because training can be quite perilous. I'm afraid to stay. So he hands you eight healing potions and four scrolls of revivify.

Wow.

That all campers have these on them at all times, just in case. So we are not liable for your deaths. At least the first time.

That's inspiring.

You'll meet your personal camp counselors tomorrow for your group, and then, you know, of course, we expect that outside of training hours, or if you're doing particularly well and you have less training than the others, you can take on quests in and outside of camp to earn extra experience, earn extra coin. And if you need to end up paying us back, you can do it that way as well. So, let's tally everything up here. Your four scrolls, your potions. You have two apples.

I think it will cost more than three gold, right?

All right. After that, it's going to be 1500 gold. He finally comes over to seven. Seven. You did not say you put the planar astrolabe into the dagger. So that means it's still in your equipment. Oh, my. What do we have here? Well, would you mind taking this out for me, young sir?

Sure. I have this. Very sure. Take a look at this fine object. No, I don't think it's a problem. I think it's a bartering problem. Not for us.

Do you know what this is?

No, I know I don't know the full strength and potential of this item.

Well, how about this? I will take it off your hands for a while. You let me study it, and I will give you an extra 200 gold towards your experience here.

That's it?

That's it.

That's what it's worth.

Why would you say it's worth 200?

You can all make me an insight check if you want.

Were you hoping for a larger number, or do you think this thing's worth much more than we were really getting? I feel like this is almost like a used car salesman situation, you know? Like, this thing is probably worth 19. Mine's trash.

What was it?

Insight. You said eight.

He looks at all of you, and he's kind of like, shrugging it off, and then he looks at valve, who's staring daggers at him, and even though this is an accomplished wizard, he's like, fine, 500 gold. Let me study it for the summer. If anything's wrong with it, I will make sure it's in working condition. I am genuinely curious about this.

Regardless of the price, I would like it in writing that it goes back to me or it's at my discretion if I would like it back.

Summons, a contract.

You're 16. You can't sign anything.

I can make myself look 18. Does that seem reasonable?

Yeah.

Yeah, sure. We're not gonna need it for the summer.

Yeah, okay.

He's gonna get.

It's gonna be dangerous. Probably before I just.

Sorry. Before my hands feel a little cramped. What is your impression? What do you think this is?

This is a plane. Astrolabe.

And just in general, its purpose?

Well, you don't have to be too concerned with that. But if you know what an astrolabe is, you know what a plane is. What do you think it does?

So.

Much. Yet.

I have so much to learn at this camp from here.

David, are you really sure you want to accept these campers?

Yes. You know what? Fantastic. I was just checking with you. So you're telling. So as we can kind of direct.

Their knowledge is 500 gold?

Yes.

I'm gonna stop talking and I'm gonna say, sure, sign it. Make sure it comes back to me. And you'll have for the summer.

Your total debts to us will be 1000 gold. All said and done, to be paid by four by end of summer.

It's like what? Like 20 plates.

By the end of the summer?

Oh, yes, quite.

And there's opportunities to work at the camp, to earn, to pay back if.

There'S anything that needs to be done around the camp. Or if you use your free time to do other experiential things as heroes will want to do.

Interesting.

What happens if we don't have the money by end of summer?

We'll get to that when we cross that bridge.

That seems safe. Quick question though. Since as we're wrapping this up in.

Total, you'll be back for another summer.

Or each total.

Oh, that's better. Do you by chance with my family name?

Yeah, mine too.

Have you seen what happened with that too? I have a val, my brother.

Oh, your brother Val. Perhaps you better talk to the director about that. Bramblefoot.

Bramblefoot. Okay.

Bizzlewick. Bramblefoot.

Bizzlewick Bramblefoot. I apparently just repeat words.

The wizard has a forlorn look on his face as he hears Val's name. And the halfling looks at you. And your family name.

I forget my last name.

Thornton.

Thornton.

It's my job to say her last name.

Thornton. Eldrin, do you mind casting sending to see if they'll pay for Miss Bellathear? And he goes, sure, there's a sending spell. He gets to reply, absolutely not.

Now it says 2000.

Her father basically says in so many words that if you attend this camp, he will a make your life very difficult, and then you are fully cut off.

Yeah, that checks out.

Staying.

So I think your father will not be paying for you.

Okay, Bell, if you're staying.

Yeah.

All right. Sounds like we're about to be in debt. Let's do this.

All right. I. Welcome to camp Financial, I mean, Camp Shimmer Lake. Please head over to the colosseum for your opening ceremony.

Thank you.

Thanks, lady.

Bye, astrolabe.

So Eldrin and the halfling sent you through, whose name was, as I said before, Davithe. Um, anyway, so you pass through, like, some campground, some trees, you pass a couple, like, nondescript, like, cabinets, things like that, and you arrive at, like, this mid size, like, coliseum. Like this is gonna be able to hold, like. Actually, I guess you would describe it as more small. Like this can hold, like. Like a thousand people. So compared to, like, a normal sized coliseum of your expectations. So you see a bunch of teens around your age, of all types of races, sitting in the stands, and you see a collection of what appear to be instructors in the middle. And once you're all seated among the. The loud teenage crowd, you see a small, gnomish druid woman who appears to be older in age, which is quite significant given that, like elves and the, like, gnomes can live a decent amount of time. She starts floating up in the. Attention. Attention. Greetings and salutations, young aspirants. I'm fizzlewicken grample foot, the guardian and director of Camp Shimmer Lake. Welcome to a summer of enchantment and adventure within these hallowed grounds. For a millennium, this camp has been the crucible for forging the realms most legendary heroes. And now you stand on the threshold of joining that illustrious lineage. This year holds a pivotal shift, however. This year calls for heroes, and we need to open our gates wider than we've ever. Than we've ever opened them before. As you can see that there are at least, at least 100 of you in the crowd. Normally, we host 50 at the most. And among you, we hope to sculpt you by our esteemed circle of master instructors, as you see before me, like the venerable master Eldrin, the sage of arcane arts, whose knowledge of magic is as vast as the skies, tomorrow your journey of transformation begins under the watchful eyes of your dedicated camp counselors. Yet let us not hasten too swiftly towards tomorrows challenges. Today, we immerse ourselves in the joy of discovery and camaraderie, a grand scavenger hunt awaits to unveil the wonders of Camp Shimmer Lake to you. Please seek out a counselor instructor in the middle here to commence your quest. Each scavenger list has been adjusted based on prior camp experiences, knowledge, and to make sure not all groups head to the same location all at once, because that would be insane. May the swiftest and sharpest among you claim the prize of victory. Best of luck. And she disappears. So you will get a paper copy version of this later because you'll need it. But here it is. I'll send the over to you. To your magic devices.

Perfect. Well, that's amazing. This works out really well because we have magic devices.

All right, so who would likely be holding the piece of paper and reading this out loud?

I'll do it.

I'll hold it.

It's like you don't have pockets.

That's the only reason.

If you had pockets.

But it's part of me. It's paper.

Can I use men?

Right?

Can I use presiding or mending to make pockets for treat?

So you can make, like, a small, like. Like, bag. Like a little dice bag. But you wouldn't be able to sew a pocket on, I think, like, for tree. I can check that for the future, but I think you'd be able to make a little bag. But not, like, attach something to his clothing.

Okay, maybe we'll work on making, like, a leaf.

I'm pretty sure he's wearing armor, so.

Oh, that's a good point. All right.

Also, his skin is made of bark.

So for now, why don't we just have a carve one into him?

You can stay still. Family. Vowels live on there. That we're carving six.

I don't know about that, guys. All right, why don't we give it to Bridget? Let's give it to Bella.

Okay. Okay.

I can be narrator.

I can read it if you want, but it might take me three times.

To get through it. As long as I don't have to read all the numbers.

No, no, you can just, like, imagine.

You just read all the numbers to us.

I'm one three.

Yeah.

It's okay. So it says, in shimmer lakes bounds, you embark on a quest where the past leaves its mark. Found the founder's corte. Whoa. Codex. Then read with a cipher. Take heed. In the library your journey will start. Assemble the pieces you gain from the puzzles you solve. Not in vain. Each part is a clue to what next you must do to be known as true campers ordained. And then there's a bunch of numbers.

All right, so with that, the starting point for your scavenger hunt is going to be the camp library. So you actually had this briefly described to you last session there. There was a larger building than most that you passed that was like marble, had some columns, and was very intentionally and well designed and built. And that's going to be about southwest of the coliseum, where you are now. So you see all the bunch of campers reading their pieces of paper, and they're scattering out of the colosseum. Are we heading just directly to the library or anything else you want to discuss? Whatever.

What do you guys think? Should we jump in on this?

I think we probably should go to the library.

Is there anything in our cabin that we got that we might want or.

Need or not that you've been informed?

Cool. To the library.

All right.

Tree.

Trying to figure out these numbers.

Tell you what. Why don't we start making the library? And if you see any numbers along the way, you shout those out of.

Need something in the library to get started?

Yes.

Or Dewey.

Dewey. Dewey decimal. I tell you, he's pretty smart.

How does he treat brute forces? Puzzles.

I'm impressed.

This could be a trap.

All right, so you get to the library. You. You enter under the overhanging and go through the front door. And when you enter, you immediately notice that it isn't. It is indeed bigger on the inside.

You're admiring my drink of holding, aren't you?

Drink of holding.

You need a sticker for that, by the way.

I'm gonna make one.

Please.

But, Liam, is it fuzzy wuzzy? Tommy wimey?

It is. It is.

Especially so. Yes. So you enter this vast library, clearly like a mystical archive with high vaulted ceilings and rows upon rows upon rows of different books, scrolls, artifacts, maps. There's murals on the wall, enchanted lands, cast lamps cast, like a diminished glow upon the library. And it's very. And while as large and as much as there's in there, it's very eclectic. It is not, like, super well organized. It's very cramped, I would say. You know, if we have problems, like, with dexterity, we might have trouble navigating through here without knocking anything over type of thing. Wait, why is everybody looking at you're so busy looking at your computer, missing.

All the meaningful glances, all the blatant glances.

And the other thing, if someone has a low dexterity. Someone.

Wonder who.

So I was actually checking my dexterity.

Negative one. Got it.

So the other thing. So after you kind of like, oh wow. So your eyes are usually drawn to like the size and the collectiveness of this library. But then your eyes come down to the floor and the floor is just as much of a mess as the rest of the library is. But you notice in a sitting cross legged on the ground, tail in the air with like kind of like an array, a circle array of like a bunch of different like you know, tomes and scrolls and things like that. Surrounding them is a blue scaled dragonborn in some ropes. Dragonborn. That's cool.

Sick.

Dragonborn.

She's sitting on the floor or he.

Yes. So as of right now, cuz you don't. Yeah, it is sitting on the floor and it's examining, it's flipping through a book.

So I say, oh guys, well it's a dragonborn.

It's kind of cool. You want to go say hi?

I knew it. It hurt him. Obviously.

It's a library.

Hey.

Hey dragon buddy.

Oh no.

Oh my God.

How you doing?

This is a library? Yeah. Please.

Have some respect. Hey, are you a real dragon?

What you reading?

I'm reading a book about magical soups.

Supes.

Please. This requires my utmost focus. I need you to be completely silent.

Tree, that's your job to stand still and not move this entire time.

She said, supes, that can't be real.

As you're doing this, he tosses the book to the side outside of like his immediate circle. And then all of a sudden a small like clockwork mechanical griffin comes by, gets the book and goes off into the library.

Oh, that's cool. So you're saying is Mike, can you talk to that animal?

He picks up a new scroll.

Wait, was that a. Was that the cipher? No. Was that the codex that just flew away?

No, it was a book on soups. Were you not listening?

You were telling me that the founder's codex is not a book on soup.

He puts the scroll, he tosses the scroll to the side. And then a mechanical, foot tall dragon, mechanical little clockwork thing comes, grabs it and goes off into the opposite direction. He grabs the next thing, but as he's grabbing the next thing with one hand, with his other hand, the dragonborn starts casting a spell and he's, as he casts it, you feel like, kind of like the air ripple in front of you. Ah, much better. And he goes into a new book.

Soup.

He looks through it a little bit, leaves through it. As you try to say the word soup, you don't hear anything come out of your mouth.

Cast silence.

And don't think you can try to dispose of, but there are plenty of wards in this place that will prevent you from dispelling that.

Can I go near him? Or, like, is there that circle?

No.

Yeah, there's no, like, magical bear. It's kind of like his.

Like, show him the letter and point to the words founders codex.

That's a good idea.

So he goes, it's the beginning of the term again.

I just shake my head hard.

Well, I'm not really supposed to help with you, but I help you out. But you can figure it out. And he tosses one last book away. And as he tosses the book, instead of a dragon, instead of a griffin, a centaur picks it up and runs off in yet a different direction.

Is he wearing a red scarf by any chance? Like the. Why not an orange?

So she solved it. The centaur, clockwork being, stops, looks at you and goes, it was a satyr, not a centaur.

My bad. I only saw the movie once.

Tell you what, it's racist.

My bad.

99 problem. The Centauri one does. Do we take note of the directions in which all those animals or things moves?

Yeah. So the griffon that you first found went to the left, the dragon went to the right, and the centaur went to the middle.

That's a good joke. A griffin, a dragon, a center. Walk into a room.

Yes, walk into a library.

The Griffin says, I say we split up. Oh, that's always a good thing to do.

If we split up, someone has to go with him.

So none of this conversation is happening.

Yes, because we're silenced.

Because it's silenced.

Can I mouse to him? Well, that's like a dexterity. Can I mouse to this guy?

To the Dragonborn.

Well, did he say that he was gonna help?

No, he said you can try to figure out.

He said he figured out if you help us, we will leave.

Make me a performance check for the. For, like, your lip enunciation.

You know in those movies when, like, they're like. And like, they do, like, all these hands? That's what I feel like.

Yeah. His mouthing and like. Yeah, I just feel like I like that because my thought process is he already doesn't like us. So if we. If we. If we say, like, we'll leave and leave you alone, that might be enticing.

Well, yeah, I think he just doesn't like me.

No, you. Impossible. How could he want to leave you out of this? Come on. Where is ideal? Sorry. Soup. Huh? Magical library soup. Who would have thought? Performance check plus seven. That's a good sign right. Here we go. Watch, this guy needs, like, a. Like, a DC of, like, 30. All right, here we go. Oh, I have this. That was loud. What is that? That sounds so great. Let's do the math. 13.

It is in my contract that I at least have to, once a year put up with all the riff raff that comes through here. Today is that day. You got this. He tosses away another scroll, and the dragon picks it up and goes off.

And goes which way? Right.

It goes right.

Okay, I kind of thought you're under. Could we just stick around for one more? Griffin, that goes left. No. Okay, nice to talk to you.

When he's looking down, he's. He's not hearing anything you're saying right now.

I see. We just won't go this way.

We should really get message so we can talk to each other. All right, I don't either. Okay, I'm gonna give.

So, for the viewers at home, tree is, like, hand mimicking things, and as he hand mimic things, what do you.

Knock off the wall? I knew it. He's gonna knock something off of a wall. Good lord.

We're gonna knock down bookshelves over here.

Make me a dexterity.

What's Harold doing right now?

Hold on.

Which one?

I can ask.

Harold.

Harold, how do you feel about this?

Which one do I roll? Cause I have dice naps, so goldar.

Feels pretty good to get off that boat, huh?

Oh, yeah. And you're gonna be going for your dexterity saving throw. So you should see a section of that on d and D beyond where.

It says, like, it looks like this.

It's a big one.

The one with the 20 sides.

Hold on.

Wait a minute. You have eight bags of dice?

Dice bags have a d 20. I'm gonna lose it. I just wish you didn't know that.

That's why it was on sale, because you get all the dice.

The important one.

We're gonna cut it. We're gonna cut this part out of the podcast. But you could have just gone to, like, a reputable website and not bought eight bags of, like, party city dice, one d. Twenty out of eight bags.

Oh, that's disappointing.

Yes.

Wait, before. Before we start back up again, is this because your daughter stole them from you or because. Shit, I know she did. She did. She's like, I like this one.

And I tried to find all of them. I think I did. I don't know. All right, I'm rolling. Okay, perform. What am I doing?

Dexterity saving throw.

Dexterity saving throw. So my dexterity is 15 plus two.

So there's a saving throw section on the whole.

There's like a box right under.

I'm gonna put you back in dice timeout. You're gonna be forced to click on the buttons again.

Yes, I got it. It's plus two, plus 210.

So you knock down a book off of a nearby podium and as you go down to, you know, pick it back up, you see it reads Grimoire of the forbidden wat of the forbidden wisps. Forbidden west. But before you could grab it, the. The Griffin is going to come by left and takes it and goes left.

Griffin left. Dragon right. Sorry.

Can I use my magical hand to grab it before the Griffin grabs it.

Dexterly with that? Because by the time you summon the hand and, you know, direct it. Yeah, you can summon the mage hand for the future.

Okay, I'll summon the mage hand for the future as well.

Great.

All right, just in case I need to grab anything out of anybody's hands.

Before they grab it.

Not very lawful.

Good of you has now just tossed another thing to the side and it lands near 7ft. Do you want to try to make a quick perception check if.

As a matter of fact, I do.

You can catch it before.

Oh, yeah.

Perceptions on grabs it.

Yep. This is terrible. I've never. Tight. That's better. I did get a five before, so five plus piece of perception.

Yeah.

It's only an eight.

Okay, that's. It's a easy, easy check. You read the title to be the lineage of Elven kings. And as you do, a centaur automaton comes by and goes middle.

All right, so then two of us go left, one of us go right. Middle.

Who's coming with me?

I go middle.

Wait, does it make sense? I know this seems shocking. Does it make sense for us to all go together?

I mean, if you want.

You wanna go together?

I'm walking. So let's follow.

Bella Bell usually goes in places.

What do you think is always a prelude to some horrible design?

It is, right? Like, nothing good ever came of any horror movie where they.

I know what we should do. We should split up.

Yes.

It's like. And then you get picked off one by one.

Yes. And then if you split up, always be the last person in the line. Right.

In my other campaign, we split up and half of my party is locked inside of a mansion and I'm currently drowning in a boat under water. So clearly it doesn't work out.

Oh, so if you. So then either would be that four people are locked in a mansion.

You could all make me an intelligence check real quick before you go.

No, that's me.

A problem.

I'm gonna put these dice in time out.

Just straight up intelligence.

Yeah, intelligence. And no. No modifiers.

Well, intelligence.

Oh, okay.

Oh. 19.

1314.

Nine.

Everyone but tree.

Sorry?

Everyone but tree. You realize that in the. In the scavenger hunt, paper is said to find the founders codex, which I would say sounds like a more historical type of text.

It's like the Dewey decimal system's happening.

Were we paying attention to the.

Well, lineage of the Elven kings was Schmittl.

If it was middle, then we should probably be middle.

Middle. I liked it. Oh, wise idea. Apparently, Bellis knew from the.

I.

Was he wearing a red scarf?

So as we walk down the middle, it's kind of like a snaking, winding path. Very cramped. There's no way, like, almost like any of you are gonna go through here without accidentally coming close to knocking things over. So what I'll say is, can we all make a dexterity saving throw right now? And then we'll ply it down the line. Cause you'll see.

Sorry, this is kind of a dumb question. Left, middle, and right are all within this one building. We're all in. This is in the building still, right? We didn't leave the library.

Yep.

Rolls on a rolling. It's, like, just sitting there.

I got a nine.

Got a 16.

And what is it? This is a dexterity. So, 1619.

Okay. All right, so you. You arrive to, like, after you go through, like, these winding, like, corridors and stacks of, like, different things and maps and scrolls and tomes, you finally arrive to, like, a cylindrical little outlet, if you will, here, where you see the centaur that picked up the lineage of elven kings is, like, climbing up the stacks and finding a place to put it in, like, this little cylinder room.

Can we look at the specific location where he's putting it or trying to put it?

It ends up climbing to the top and just kind of stacks it on top.

Is there no alphabetical rhyme or reason to these books?

Make me an investigation check. Anyone else who wants to join.

Absolutely.

He's like, do I bother?

17, right?

22.

Oh, 17. Not as good as that.

1515.

Okay. These books are. You all get that? These books are. When they're not being stacked on top, you see the centaur, like, just stack, like, because you can see, like, another book that was next to it that was recently brought here was stacked on top, like, horizontally. But the rest of the books, once they've been properly shelved seem to be in alphabetical order, like title or title order.

Okay, so look for f. Awesome.

So you look for f, and you see a foot and a half tall leather burgundy book, really old. And on the spine is the founders codex.

Whoa.

Nailed it.

Nailed it. Why do we pick f founder?

Here's a spider.

Do you want to do the intelligence check again, or no? Is that good? Thank you. Guys, the author's codex. Now what are we. Wait, so, was there a. This is a silly question, but did it come out of. This may not mean anything, but if we're counting books from, like, left to right, hypothetically, where the shelves down, is it in a certain position or a number of books from left to right, there's no, like.

Okay, you just see it on the shelf.

Are we still silenced?

Yep. Oh, I thought that was just in that room. Like, the guy who was irritated with us.

No. As he mentioned, the library is heavily warded to extend his spouse, so we're.

Gonna have to solve something in complete silence.

It's a good thing we can't hear each other right now.

Okay, I take the book off the shell.

I'm gonna.

Wait, wait. I don't take it off. I point to it first.

Okay.

I want to.

Somebody else takes it off.

Is I ready in action to give bridget a thumbs up?

I knew that was gonna happen, so, obviously.

Oh, God.

Tree grabs it.

I'm gonna get mending. Ready.

All right. As tree grabs it. So, based on the way you roll from the dexterity saving throw, you hear a slight rumble from the corner you just came out of, and a few flying books come out of it, flapping their pages. They're all roughly the same size as the founder's codex that you're grabbing, and they're all flapping in the air. And as tree goes to grab the founders codex, it, too, starts flying in the air.

So, does it remind me of Harry Potter and the keys for some reason?

Please roll for initiative.

We're fighting books.

I mean, what's worse? Super books?

Pretty sick.

Yeah. Kind of cool. Kind of cool.

Four books in total, including the founders codex.

19.

Oh, roll the net. 20.

12, 14.

I'm going last, baby. I got a two.

I'm sorry. So, who rolled the second highest?

Oh, initiative. Let me see. I might have a little bit better.

I rolled a 1212.

14 to five.

Okay, so. Okay. All right, so they fly. Unless you're at an angle to it. If a book is, like, close enough to you and above you, you can't quite tell the color of the spine. Or see the spine, because it's, you know, trying to conceal what it is. They're all about the same size.

How many there?

Four. Including the founders codex.

There'S four numbers.

On the first clue and goes, like. And gives you, like, a point of love.

We find a lady.

That's true. Yes.

Hello, lady.

Hello, lady.

One of the books, mostly dead all day, starts flapping wildly and, like, goes like this, and, like, slams shut, and then after that. Goldor, I need you to make me a. Hold on 1 second. A wisdom saving throw.

13.

All right. On a 13, you feel something magically tried to affect you, but you successfully resist the magical effect one of the other books is going to cast by flapping very hardly and slamming its book just like the other one it is going to cast. Give me 1 second here. It is going to cast and throw at tree a magic stone, and I need you to. You can make me for that. We're gonna do this a little differently. You can make me a dexterity saving throw here.

Is this for the books or for the other shelved items?

One more time.

Is this for the books or just for the other shelved items around tree?

No, this is for the magic stone.

Okay.

17. 1819.

Okay. Fantastic. So you are the. It's a book, right? It's not able to throw a stone. Well, it can produce a magic stone, but it kind of like you barely had a move, right? Like. But like, what you. What you saw in your mind's eye, like, as you moved, was like, you were like neo from the matrix. You were like, going back slow motion. Your leaves are flowing in the air. You were like, be the leaf. And then you try to say, guys, did you see that? But nothing comes out.

Like, you were just excited about it.

And then a third book just starts maneuvering itself around so it's out of direct eye shot from seeing the spine, and then the last book is going to target seven. Seven. Make me a wisdom saving throw.

Okay, that's it. Enough of this. You said reading was good for you.

Oh, does anyone have immune to charmed before?

Oh, maybe me.

Yeah, cuz if not, then you're just immune.

1 second. Sorry. Is it a feature? What is that considered?

I think it would be in, like, defenses.

It should be under.

Your saving throws our resistance to immunities or vulnerable.

Yeah. Oh, it might be a different place, and on the desktop, but I'm.

Oh, maybe that is it.

I know on the app, it's usually under this.

Is this all right? Would it be under defenses if it was?

Yeah.

Like it would be. I don't have anything right. So.

Yeah, make me that wisdom saving throw.

Wisdom saving throw. You were good to me. Oh, you are good to me. Wisdom saving throw. I don't normally announce things like that. 19.

Same thing as goldor. You feel like something tried to magically affect you, but you resist it for a moment. Like you feel like an urge to move a certain direction, but you're just like, no, no, I'm gonna stay where I am.

What direction would I feel that urge?

You would have gone to your right.

To my right. Cool, cool, cool. Thank you.

That's gonna bring us to Levine, I believe.

Oh, what book number was that or what?

That was the fourth book that went in order, but they were all concealing their spines. Meal. Yeah.

Okay.

I am going to use a cantrip.

Which one?

Just off.

I'm going to let you choose.

Word of radiance.

Words of radiance. Okay.

And.

He'S just saying that because we can't.

You utter a divine word and burning radiance erupts from you. Each creature of your choice that you can see within range must succeed. A con, a constitution saving throw or take. Take one. D six. Radiant damage.

Okay. Just need prayers a little bit. Yeah. All right, so the book that tried to throw the pebble at you is in range. Cause you have a five foot range on that. So we did something different with that when we did the harpies. But it's a five foot range. So I will have the book make a constitution saving throw. It succeeds.

Dammit.

It doesn't take half damage. Right. Anything else on your turn? I believe you do have other things you can do. You do have two. You don't have to use them. I'm just saying that you do have two things that you can do as a bonus action under your spells, you could also take just, you know, another small like interaction type of thing. If you want to use your movement to try to jump, you can.

In between. Can I get in between the books or am I too far away?

I think you are close enough to. So we're looking for a vertical jump. What's your strength modifier?

My strength is plus one.

Plus one. So you can jump. If you take, if you do like a ten foot run to it, you can kind of run back and then run towards it. You can do a running jump that will get you 4ft in the air. Or you can try to make an athletics strength check to try to jump higher.

I'll try to jump higher.

All right, so roll me a d 20 with your athletics, right?

Oh, net 20.

Whoa.

Tree. You crouch your knees and you're like, I'm still the. I'm still the mother effin leaf. And you jump into the air and grab that book and you look to look at its fine. And you see rulers of the agencies.

Ooh. Okay, so rulers of the agencies. Well, he did a really good job writing that in the air.

What color. Can you tell what color it is?

Not that he can tell it's blue.

Because we're looking for, like, a yemenite.

Maroon.

Red one is the one that we want.

Okay.

Not that that helps.

Not that that helps.

Do you want to try to, like, wave it towards the party?

Yeah, I'm waving it.

I just go.

Okay, so it tries.

Like, flapping your hand and then just, like, gives up and, like, de animates.

So now I am going to.

You.

Can I use my hand, my magic hand, to grab one of the books?

Oh, your Mei chan. Yeah.

Cause it's casted.

Yeah. I'll put it on your initiative. You can. Let me see. Let me bring up machin. So you have that as a tree.

If you get two books in one round, I'm gonna be. I am already impressed with you. But this is gonna be.

You would be turning a new leaf.

Oh. You know what's fitting about that? Matter of fact, I do.

Okay, so I just need to read. Okay.

Let me get out of here.

Spectral floating hand. Last the duration until you dismiss it as an action. The hand vanishes if it is ever more than 30ft away from you. You can use your action to control. You can use your action to control hand. So you've already used your action.

Good thought, though.

Yeah, I try the same bulbask three where it gets its own turn.

Unfortunately.

I wish.

Yeah, I mean, so we can homebrew. That we do. But then any enemies will be able to do the same. If you're fine with that, then we can mage hand its own turn. Let you put it to a vote for the table.

I say we mage hand.

I kind of like that. Why don't we keep that rule until we get to our next day? Then we can change the event, and.

Then Liam will forget and it'll be fine.

Now.

I do not the likelihood of that.

Yes.

Okay, so, um, Maytan. Uh, it ranged 30ft. So, uh, it is definitely in range of, uh, another book. Uh, it is the book that tried to enchant Goldur. So if you want to try to direct the mage hand to grab it.

You can mage hand go. When I throw it over there like a Pokemon.

All of a sudden. Tree's like, can I throw a herald.

The. I'll have a book. It's. It failed. It's saving throw against that because I'm kind of home brewing this on the. On the fly here. So do you want it to bring it back to you? Yes, I do.

Come back to me.

5Ft away from you. Its movement.

It gets 5ft away from you.

It has 30ft for the turn, but it's used this movement. It's right now it's 5ft away from you. However, you can see, because it's now closed, that it is a green book.

Oh, okay.

Did you see the title or not?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah. You can see the title from there. You know, I don't have to make you make an eyesight. Check.

Sight check.

This DM's really a stick.

Empires of sand, the history of the desert peoples.

Empires of the sand. All right.

And on that, not to be confused with dessert people. So in this case and on that.

My friends, I will rest. My turn and my turn.

I think that's great. I think that's not Levine.

Sorry.

Orla. Yes. Okay, go ahead.

So we're just trying to catch these. That's what I don't want to do.

There's two books left.

Okay. Is there one near me?

There's one. What's your strength modifier?

Negative.

More of a agile kind of thing. Like a, you know, legolas to kind of like climb and jump into it.

I will be helpful ish DM here and be like, you're in a the camps library. Like, it may not be the best idea to, like.

Yeah, I'm not sure. Yeah, I'm not shooting an arrow at that.

That's probably true.

I do have a question, though. So with dreaded ambusher, it says that I take an additional weapons attack. Could I, like, swap at it? Yeah. Like, if I could, I like, swipe at it twice just to, like, hit it down instead of like, try and catch it.

That's under your features and traits.

Yeah, it says. It says additional weapons attack. So I don't know if that means that I have to, like.

At the start of your first turn, each combat, your walking speed increased by ten, which lasts until the end of that turn. You take the attack action on that turn, you can make one additional weapon attack.

Right. So what, unarmed shark count as a weapon attack now, right?

Unarmed wouldn't. But.

But like, if I hit it with like, the back half of my sword, like the blunt.

I was gonna say if you want to try to make a non lethal attack like you would, then you can try that. No guarantees of, like, what's going to. Oh, my thing died again. No guarantees. I'm sure you guys can still hear me. No guarantees of what's going to happen to the book. But you can definitely try, like, a non lethal blunt, like, with the pommel of your I dagger or whatever. Um, you can do that.

And if I just try and go grab it, I'm rolling. What? Athletics or athletics.

Athletics. Yeah, athletics.

Can I give her, like, a help action acrobatics instead?

Um, because it is not. If you had gone before and ready that action to help or use that during. Yes, but not yet. Not yet.

Are there, like, ladders or anything that I could climb up?

That's a good idea.

So that I'm, like, level with it instead of trying to jump.

Roll me a D 20. Luck check.

Why do you throw Harold up here?

He rides up the catch force. The book eats Harold. That's what he would do.

He's been trying to kill my ride.

Every time we play.

Who's your friend?

Is it. What is it? What am I doing?

You're making me, like, a straight D 2010. Okay, I'll say that there's, like, one, like, half ladder, so, like, it reaches, like, halfway up the shelves, and, like, that way, a tall person could potentially reach to the top and, like, stocks up your toe.

No, I'm not a tall person. I'm five. Five. That's not short.

No, that's not.

Just quickly reread non lethal intent damage. They can declare they weren't.

I just don't want to hurt the book in the library.

I will absolutely say that you can make a non lethal attack against this because it does have an armor class. And I will say if you do non lethal intent with, like, your dagger. Like the pommel?

Yeah.

Like, you'll, like, bruise it, but you.

Won'T, like, I'm not gonna damage.

Yes.

Okay, I'm gonna do that instead of that.

Okay, great. So one of them is gonna be an unarmed attack, and one was gonna be a. Or you're gonna do ton two non lethal dagger, blank.

Well, I'll do a non lethal one first and see what happens.

Yeah, you can do.

See if I can, like, drop it, because if it drops that, I'm not gonna hit it again.

Go ahead, roll your. You roll two d twenty s if you want to just roll them both now.

Okay. And then do I add anything to it?

You do, like, a normal attack.

Okay, so, like, if I'm using short sword, I would add plus five.

Yes.

Take another book from the library and throw it at the other book.

Yikes. Okay, 1313 hits.

So the part we forgot is you need to. To reach the book.

Uh oh.

That was my bet.

If I hit hop on the ladder at the half ladder, will I be able to reach it?

Uh oh. Hop the face.

Okay.

Not hop, that's climb. I have 40ft of movement.

Here are your options as far as movement. You can either make an athletics check to jump to hit it. I'll let you get the successful hit. Cause you already rolled for that. Okay, Orlando, if you want to go the latter route, it's going to be a higher DC for athletics, but it's going to look way cooler. And I will guarantee the capture.

I have minus two. I guess I'll just try and jump. I don't want to.

Okay, go for it.

Play it safe here. Oh, no.

I rolled a four, so that's a two.

That was a single digit.

Yikes.

So, like, nailed it. You're, like, used to, like, doing a crouching, like, bow position, and, like, you get in that position out of, like, muscle memory, and then you're like, wait, this isn't good for jumping. And then you try to jump from there and you, like, a little, like. Like, the saddest Mario elite that you can think of.

I get, like, this far off the ground.

Yeah, you get, like, a couple inches off the ground and, like, wildly swing your sword.

Okay, you almost got it. Bridget bellif.

Like, who's Bridget? Good thing I can't hear you.

Unfortunately, I think you have a bow. It can't be used non lethally, unfortunately. Yeah.

But can I unarm strike now and try to do the same thing again just with an unarmed strike? Because I get two attacks.

Yeah, sure. Non lethal short sword, if you'd like.

Okay, yeah, I'll do that then. Throwing that dice in the garbage, though. Cause that's just.

Maybe tree could pick you up.

All right, I'm gonna get rid of that one, too. That was a five.

Oh, no.

So same thing happens again. You're like, all right, I'm not gonna go back to my habits. And you go down to the bow crouch position.

You're like, what a moron. Philip is throwing a temper tantrum in the corner. So that's all that's happening.

Did she, like, jump on my head and reach up?

Who is next in? Unless you have anything else you want to do on your turn.

Did it hit it the temperature?

What would you like?

To do.

So she hit the book, but she doesn't.

No, I didn't hit anything.

She didn't hit anything.

I didn't reach it.

There's still two more books left, and they're both, like, given distance and height. We'll say, like, 20ft away from you.

So if they're 20ft away, we're silenced.

You are silenced.

So if I'm silenced, that means that I cannot cast spells that have a verbal component.

This is true. This is actually very true. And I should have called that on his words. Radiance words.

I knew. There's more of like a. Like a mime of radiance. Oh. It involves, um, yeah, significant damage to.

The book, though, because that does two d eight thunder damage.

Well, I mean, if I wanted to do damage to the book, I could also just start a bonfire with my end. Probably wouldn't go very well either, would it?

You do have a. I assume, and this is true before we started the session, like, from last time. I'm assuming your shillelagh would at least carry it over. So you do have your shillelagh active.

Probably. Yeah, it probably will. At the very least. I've got a stick. Yeah, a long stick, which is good for smacking.

That's kind of like his one defining trait. He should always have that. Yeah.

Oh, the other thing that you can do is don't forget, you can. You can turn into things.

I can. I was looking at things I can turn into and I can turn into spiders and rats, which is not the most useful thing for catching fly.

You can turn into a giant wolf spider.

That's amazing.

Not like giant compared to me. It's like giant compared to a spider. Right.

A giant wolf spider would be about the size you are now.

Right.

And it has a speed of 40 and a cloud of 40.

Wow. Shoot webs actually, like, you know.

How long would it. Would it take me to, like to, like, spin a web?

To spin a web?

I'm a bard that can't talk. Depressing.

Okay. I mean, we could. We could do it on the fly. I don't know that the giant wolf spider, when a drew transforms into, can cast a web. Like, if you actually click on the thing, it should bring up like a stat block and all the moves it can do.

Skills, got senses. Spider climb. Can climb difficult surfaces, including upside down and ceilings. Web set while in contact with the web gold or the Spider man ignores movement restrictions.

I'll say. You definitely have enough movement to cover trying to jump at that thing. Bonus action what if you, like, tree.

Pick up the spider and throw it at the book? Don't worry, I'll help you.

Strangely enough, like, if I'm already on a web, I can ignore a movement response caused by webbing. And I know the exact location of other things on the web, but it doesn't actually say anything about making a web.

That's sad. It's like, you know, if you hope.

That there's a web around.

But we'd love to give you this job. You had some experience. We can't give you an experience.

That'd be cool. But I don't think. Make sure there's nothing else here, man.

That'd be a cool homebrew, wouldn't it?

But I don't think.

Don't you tell me what to do.

That is something we could always add in the future.

Spider door.

I'm gonna have a poisonous bite. That'd be cool.

Some poor freshman's gonna. Or new camera's gonna pick up the book. Like, what happened to this guy?

You could also try to non lethally bite.

That's true. It would be cool.

But I don't like a little gnawing.

I don't know that it's gonna. I don't know that it's really gonna help. Yeah, just be. I'll be me. Sighs I can climb up walls, but I won't be able to grab onto books or anything like that, so.

So again, you have plenty of movement where you can literally just climb up a wall.

Yeah.

Easily jump at it. And just all you have to do is succeed on a non lethal bite and you'll get it.

Gotcha.

Yeah.

How well can he. How well can he. Can he jump? Strengths. Not bad.

Oh, yeah.

He was 40ft. Holy crap.

And it could be technically 80ft if you. Half of that is vertical, half of that is horizontal.

Right.

So, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What the hell? I'll turn. Alter myself in the spider.

So for the first time in campaign history.

That's right.

Transforms into a giant.

Giant spider.

What is your giant wolf spider form? Look like any certain colors or backs.

Away.

Like mossy colored.

I secretly wanted.

To podcast episode. The pitcher will have a beer.

Oh, man.

I know.

So I'll turn it into the spider and I gotta, like, climb up the wall, jump out and try to bite.

That is terrifyingly cool.

Awesome. So roll a d 20 attack like you would normally do the attack. So a bite has a plus three to hit. 1111 hits.

Eleven hits.

Eleven hits. We already said you're declaring non lethal hit.

I make a non lethal.

You grab the book, and the book. In your many eyes, you see that it is founders codex.

Huzzah. Wait, what color? I like the scarf.

See, this is the good thing I asked.

Well, that's gonna do it for this episode of campaign. We have so much left to go. See you next time. Campaign is produced by Levine, Orlip, Liam, Bridget, and myself, Michael Haidt. I edit mixer show. Our intro voice recording was done by the one and only Coltrane. Music used in this podcast was sourced by Fanatical's 2023 music bundle featuring dark Fantasy studio. If you like campaign, we hope you'll consider going to our show notes and supporting the show. Doing so helps us put out more shows just like this one. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time.