Gather your sword and board and get ready for adventure, because it's time for pain campaign. Three, two, one. Let's roll. We welcome you back to an unmitigated disaster of a d and D campaign with friends. The question of what happens when we combine a coming summer camp with d and D and the dice of fate. Well, we're gonna find that out here. Let's get started. From the murky bottoms of time and for time following a rare mushroom instead of stone, we have Mike playing goldar Firebeard, the honest to goodness dwarven Druid who's old enough for a beard and knows how to use his shillelagh.

Hey, everybody. How are you?

When this warforged lays its hands upon thee, you better hope for some divine intervention, because wooden metal still has pain and emotion, especially when there's a little buddy hopping by. Mike Levine is Tr 33, the war of Forge Paladin.

Yes.

What's up, everybody? It's good to be back.

When tracking is either cross a path that seems lost or an arrow needs to find a target that seems too far away. Or if it's covered in marshmallow. We look no further than Bridget playing Bella's, our tiefling ranger who hates plants, loves adventure, and who'd rather pull out our boat than engage in pointless conversation.

Hi.

Hi. And I'm Michael Hyde, off key raider rock. As always, I'm playing the seven, the bard. But it's not about me. I'm going to pass it off to our good friend Liam, who puts the danger in DM.

Very good.

Thank you.

Hello, Mister DM.

Big eye Carly staying over here?

Two, one. Oh, the microphone. That's amazing.

So, three, what would you like to cook? Oh, let's see.

I love to cook some, I don't know, something with leaves.

Rabbit.

Rabbit, rabbit.

Rabbit likes.

And pepper.

And they suck solid.

No.

You know why?

I feel like I'd be kind of a cannibal if I eat salad.

Like rabbit.

Yeah, let's do something more like rabbit.

Rabbit. Great idea. All right, so first, this is how we skin a rabbit. I showed you how to skin wine.

Where's Shelby?

Wait, where am I?

You're presumably. I mean, you're probably still standing in front of the counter.

Can I see what's happening here?

Yeah, sure.

I intently watch what's happening.

Wait, is Shelby anywhere around?

No, it's okay. I'm taking notes.

Don't worry.

Can I help you? Last day.

I'm just watching.

He looks at you kinda weird.

That's my friend. I mean, that's my friend.

Buddy. We gotta get it together.

So he shows you how to prepare.

That's really where you put the comma.

So, essentially. Essentially, he has a rabbit. You have a rabbit. And all the ingredients and cutlery and spices and seasoning and garnishes and sides. And as you're following him, you're using cooking kit. Roll me a D 20 to see how you do.

That's my friend.

D 20. Here we go.

Two.

Stop using the tower.

I know.

I got a two. I got a two on my first roll, but my second roll was an 18.

Wait, why'd you roll twice?

Cause you just gave yourself advantage. I was mad the first time, so I rolled together.

Worked that way, me. I think that's how we should run this game from now on. I didn't like the first one.

Did you say any, like, seconds?

I mean, you probably all had inspiration saved up at some point. We can say that's your inspiration if you want.

That's so funny. It's so. So.

You know what?

I'm cooking here? I'm cooking here.

Let him cook.

Something may happen. That's funny if with a two. So let's do it. I'm gonna roll. I'm gonna stick with my two.

All right, so you take kind of a knife, and you go just like that. No, not like that. What are you doing, Boyden? And you, you've, like, completely. You look like a serial killer who's killed his first rabbit out in the backyard. And, like, it's like this grotesque formation of the rabbit. Now, let's see what we can savage here. And he helps you take off, like, the legs. Basically. It's, like, the only salvageable part. You've cut and roughed up the rest of it where it's, like, unusable. Oh, no. It was an admirable first tray, but we'll keep working on it. You know what?

It's just my big, leafy hands.

It's very hard.

I want to give tree my book on soup. Can I give tree my book on soup that I borrowed from the library?

Did you actually take that out from the library? You did?

Yeah.

Okay.

I really wanted it.

Sure.

Tree, here, take this book on soup.

This makes it a lot.

We're cooking rabbits.

We're hunting wabbitzes.

That's what sea cake zappy looks like.

What would be so nice when you're done, if this comes out? Okay, you know, whatever. Discretion. We should give it to Shelby.

Shelby?

What if she does? Well, you can give this to your counselor, if you want to keep, you know, your bark on.

Ah, keep your bark on.

Maybe your bark is worse than your bite, you know?

All right, so your dish comes out very mediocre. We'll say for your first time.

It was my first time.

Are you gonna eat it?

Uh, am I gonna eat it? Yeah, why not?

You know, uh, make me a constitution saving throw, you undercooked saving throat.

Oh, man.

Make sure you're looking at the saving throw section to see if you get any pluses. The constitution.

You know, as a parent, I feel like every night at dinner is a constitution saving throw.

I mean, it doesn't matter whether it's dice tower or a dice tower or digital. I got a six.

I just can't see giving you bardic inspiration for food saving throw. Just the right song for the situation.

I'm sorry, what'd you roll?

A six.

A six. All right. And that's with you adding anything that you need to add to.

I added.

Oh, all right.

In the world before, actually.

Oh, here we go. You are. You have minor food poisoning. You have disadvantaged. Oh, God. The next 3 hours for food. Damn it. Stink, stink, stink.

Whatever your name is.

Cook is a learning process. You're gonna take some hits now and then if you don't do the proper procedure.

Oh, well, I took a big hit. What did we learn today?

Not how to cook rabbit.

I learned a thing or two personally.

What you claim to learn, Belle, I've.

Never seen a rabbit get destroyed.

Well, you know, I spend a lot of time in the woods, so if I ever get lost one day, I just. This is helpful.

So you're telling me you're a ranger who spends the time in the woods, and you don't know how to skin a rabbit?

Yeah, I grew up. Nothing like would.

See, I'm not gonna lie, sieg. You taught me the right way so I could. Yeah, I'm saying you don't know how to skin rabbit either.

Don't offend the man teaching skills.

I'm just saying I'm sick over here, man. I'm puking up leaves.

This ain't good.

I could be cooking for the governor. That what that accent changed. But instead, I'll cook here because I believe in what I'm doing.

I'm just saying, there's seeds coming out of me.

There's leaves coming out of me.

I don't know what's coming out of.

Me, but it's not good. See, if it was compost and use it to grow your own ingredients.

Farging.

Anyway, moving on. So you all finish eating, and you meet back with Shelby. Hi, campers. So I'm gonna take you around, and we're gonna meet some of your. I'm trying not to say hi, counselors. Shelby.

It's far out, man.

Counselors who? I can teach you more specific stuff, and I'm gonna help. Be there to guide you and making sure you got a handle on everything. And don't disappoint me. Look like a fool.

You know, tree's been learning some good things. Shelby.

Shelby, no. I've made some great soup. You want to try some? Are you hungry?

Oh, I'm okay. I had a fantastic meal outside of town. Oh, but, Joey, I just made this for you. Like, come on. I thought you were gonna try it. You want me to eat a rabbit?

Rabbit soup, actually. Rabbit soup?

You weren't making rabbit soup.

I threw it in water.

Thank you, though.

Patriots.

Oh, my God. Now tough it out and let's go. Um, so, uh, this is a good try. Shelby starts. Uh, so we're gonna kind of do a little mini montages here, and Shelby's introducing. I love a montage to, uh, some of the songs of the. The other counselors. You meet Berteft, the theater master. You meet Eldrin, who you met before. The wizard, who also helps with magical artifacts and ruins. Torrin, the blue Dragonborn, who is in the library, also runs the alchemy lab, where you learn how to mix various toxins and herboss things, even fizzle Bramblefoot herself. The director takes you into the woods for some lessons with magical creatures and how to approach them, who sometimes work with born iron first in the Coliseum to learn better fighting techniques. And so this happens for a few days, and we're gonna pause midweek real quick to slow the montage. We're still montaguing. We're gonna slow the montage. And Bertuf, the theater master, Bertet, instead of meeting at the theater this day, he finally has you meet him in front of the pod. The Epcot spherical silver theater.

Epcot ball.

Epcot ball. And the Internet.

Lovely Epcot ball.

So Bursteff is a human bard. Wears very flamboyant clothes, has a feather in his cap and has, like, blue silk and white embroidered shirts and nice pants and I shoes. He says, all right, so today we're gonna go into the pod. Now, who here has been in the pod before? Cause we're gonna try something new.

I think we hit the pod.

We're not exactly.

Can you just.

People.

Yes.

I think we hit the pod with a warhead I don't think we've been inside the pod.

No.

Can we hear?

Didn't we hear someone screaming in there?

We heard someone inside the podesthe on our first adventure, getting into camp. But we've never been inside the pod.

I've been in the pod.

She's gonna lie.

So, anyway, not like how she doesn't even, like, believe you.

The past few days, we've been practicing our performance skills, our deceptive skills, and things of that nature. But now we need to see if you can employ them. Please step into the pod.

I don't like those.

So, you step into this silver sphere, and when you go inside, you are no longer seemingly at camp, but in a fully decked out, two tier tavern that is currently where someone is currently playing a harp on stage. There's people eating dinner, having drinks. There's a bar in the bottom floor, and then Berteff follows you behind a.

Bard in a bar.

The pod is our simulator. We have constructs made by the original founders using a very rare material that still being trying to be located today. Aether ore. And only our director knows how we can recharge and use it to create the simulation that you're now experiencing. Now, be warned, while this is a simulation, if, for example, a patron in this tavern were to attack you, you would feel pain.

Would we die if we died in here?

Well, you guys got resurrection scrolls, right? When you enlisted? I mean, enrolled.

Okay. Guess that answers my question.

That's scary.

Well, we always thought, you know, practical experience was the best form of experience for y'all. So sometimes not all of you can get out and about on a given day. So here is my task for you. Behind the counter of the bar is a locked box with a, we'll say, a two foot long gold chain with a ruby pendant attached to it. Your goal is to work your way through this crowded room behind the bar and steal it. Sometimes nefarious forces need things taken away from them. And the barkeeper is a near duel, we'll say. So you all will have 30 seconds to formulate. Formulate your plan and put it into action. Good luck. Annie backs out. Simulation resumes. People are talking. You guys are, like, standing out in the crowd right now, just having entered this place.

Wait, so we just have to go get this gem from behind the counter? Where's the Gemdez?

Where's Jamaica?

Oh, it's in a locked box. Okay, who has good.

Should we distract?

Who has good stealth? Who has good sleight of hand?

I could do invisibility. And I could change form.

I can use my amulet.

Slight of hand, plus four the hand, the grabbing thing.

Oh, what do you think?

Plus for slight hands.

I think I was gonna. That was gonna be my. If you kill Harold, Liam. But that was. That was gonna be miscarriage.

Wait, we have to actually.

But yeah, I was gonna say. Cuz if I send Harold over there, he can't do anything.

Be open. Guess it's locked currently, as far as you know.

Okay, cuz like he can't pick anything up.

We'll say ten more.

But I could use him to like create a distraction as a bartender.

I'll shape shift into the bartender. Use the.

No, don't shake shift. Cuz we're shape shifting in the middle of a very crowded place. You have invisibility.

That's a much better idea. Okay, distract the bartender and you have high slight of handles force.

You have a box picking.

As you're doing this, you notice that the. The bartender keeps checking his box. He actually even takes a little key from his pocket, opens it up, checks if there closes his ability. Grab the key.

Grab the key. Use a hand to grab the key and wait.

We'll go over and distract the bartender.

He shakes his head and he takes out his key, checks it again, closes.

Oh, good. He's OCD.

It's a great skill's annoying. We'll just go talk to the. Talk to the bartender.

Yes. No, no, the key is missing.

So just do it fast.

Grab the key or grab the box.

No, don't grab the box. Grab the key. Okay, the key in the lock. Unlock the box. Get it. And then you could put the. Drop the key on the floor like you dropped it.

Good plan. All right, let's go.

Wait, what are we doing?

How are you distracting him?

We'll just go talk to the bartender.

This isn't even a roll. He just do himself. Okay, we're gonna make our way over there. I'm gonna go. He's gonna distract him. As soon as he gives him his attention, I'm gonna invis and I'm gonna start sneaking behind the bar. Try to grab the key, my sleight.

Of hand maybe like try and like step behind him and then cast invisibility. So that way.

Do I get a help action to distract him?

Do you need.

No, you're doing something else, right?

You have to roll to become invisible.

No, I roll for the slight hands. Are they distracting him enough? Right? If you get a help action or.

No, we'll find out.

Yeah, hold on.

Okay, the bar.

Keep is goblin.

He's a human.

So you gotta be invisible first. But yeah, we kind of gotta, like, block you because you're gonna randomly go invisible in this.

But if you have all the distractions on tree. And people usually like to look at him because he does things.

True. So just start walking over.

Do whatever you normally do.

Okay?

That's what I'm best at. Guys, I got this.

Distraction, distraction, illusion.

All right, ready?

Yeah.

I cannot wait for magic to not work in this place. This just goes straight to hell.

Okay, you're welcome.

This is the things, the statistic things that my brain comes up with.

Me too. Yeah.

I be in the microphone, do I like, notice anything? Just like passively sitting here that I would take note of.

Oh, a check would be good, huh?

No, but you hear someone calling stage open mic night. Anyone want to volunteer to call?

Oh, let's go.

We're getting up on that stage.

Yes.

No, you go do your thing. No, no, no.

I just start to drool and I'm like, all right, all right.

So. Hey, bartender, what are you on? I would like to get up on that mic over there. You want kid to join my friend?

Me? The guy on stage is the one asking.

Yeah, but I want you to come with me.

You're such a cool dude.

I bought your bar.

How old are you? I am sing for you. You got an id?

He's old enough for a beer.

My friend here is old enough for a beer.

Look at his beard.

Or beard.

Beer.

Give me a moment. I'll get you. I'll get you a beer. Hey. Turns around, checks the box.

Are you invisible yet?

Now it's kind of beautiful. When you turn his back. I'm going to visit.

Anyone want to get up here and perform? He's the other guy on the stage.

Yeah, me and my bartender friend. How you doing?

If you don't stop, I'm gonna call security.

All right. Tone down, okay?

Well, I'm about to. You know what, I'll take a drink as well.

You got any water?

I like that there's a tap for water. Careful.

What this is gonna be slight of hand?

Well, yeah, if we get that far, I was gonna say.

All right, I'm going for it. Can I do that now while he's.

Talking to him, trying to steal his key from behind. Invisible. Yeah, yeah. Roll, roll your slide.

Roll.

Two.

D. Twenty mark one. Stealth. Mark. One. Slide of hand.

So do each color.

All right, so this will be. This is the big one is the one that counts as a sleight of hand. Right. And then the stealth is mister shiny.

Okay.

Did I click the wrong letter? Oh, actually.

Wait, what? What are you doing? Stealth and sleight of hand.

Is that right? Stealth inside of hands. One fell out, both fell. Right.

I don't like that box you got over there.

Serious box. Right.

Oh, what is. Which one is that?

Okay, this was the. This was stealth. This was slight of hands.

Okay.

The stealth I have plus three. So that's nine to eleven. Sleight of hand is now a Nat 2024. That's like, I'm gonna get busted being behind the bar, but I'm going to actually be successful in stealing the.

Stealing the.

What did my master bar keeper rolls a.

What?

That's a one.

Oh, my God. 20.

Bartender, have you rolled 20 on slide hand?

I rolled that twice. Slight hand. 24, but not 20.

Fantastic. So you take that key away from him stealthily, and then what?

How do I freaking pick up.

No, you don't have to pick the lock. You have the key. Open the box.

I don't mean that, but isn't that gonna make some noise? Now how do I do it? Do I need to roll again?

Oh, man.

I have to go to the bathroom.

Bartender, do you know what? You can take an action just online?

Yeah. Just unlock and then take it out real quick and close it.

I'm distracting him.

Yeah, we're all, like, trying to. We're asking for.

It's not in the public box of doom. But I just rolled in that 20, so you start opening the box.

Can we start yelling at this guy who's there?

Who's in my box? Leave it alone.

What? Bob yelling at. Calm down.

He's not even registering what you're saying.

Take the. Take it out. Just do it.

And getting out of the way.

All right, so you take. Read me the.

It says when behind a bar, you're always invisible.

No matter what.

Anything the target is wearing or carrying is invisible. As long as it's in targets possession, the spell ends. For a target that attacks or casts a spell, concentration up to an hour, an action touch.

What is saying to reference to people noticing or nothing?

I don't think it does.

Okay.

No, it says if you're in the presence of a bartender in a epcot orb, you get a bonus. Nice.

All right, so you start running away with the necklace.

Someone thaumaturgy and make some sound somewhere. So you get the phone.

I was gonna say that. Yeah, I have it.

The owners are now blocking the exit.

Things went really?

So I've got to get the key.

I like, can I try and, like.

Behind the counter, I should say, can.

I try and, like, knock, like, a glass over as if, like, an invisible person knocked a glass over somewhere where he's not running?

How you doing it?

Get this.

Like, I just want to, like. Like, lean on the counter to, like. Like I'm talking to the security and, like, yeah.

Go for it.

No, wait, can I.

Junior, sometimes you have enough dice and then. What's the. Oh, wait, can you do precipitation change again?

Uh, 1919.

Yeah, you absolutely make that glass look like someone else is over there knocking it down. And the bar keeper goes, he's over there. Get him. And the ogre start walking around there.

Run the other way, start swinging. No, he. They're all just reacting. So you go some. Go the other direction. I mean, you have whatever you're. Yeah, you have.

And go.

Yeah, yeah. So go. Where do we have to go after? What was the goal?

Try to exit the bar.

I'm gonna quickly cast minor illusion of myself.

Yeah, you can't, because then you'll. Then you won't be invisible.

I'm gonna just go. Good Lord.

You exit. But the rest of you didn't say you followed the barker. Who was he? Weren't you here with someone? There was a fourth person. Where are they?

We never acknowledged. Yeah.

What are you talking about?

I saw you walk in with this tree looking fellow, this dwarf looking fellow. Some guy's following, and there was some other teenage looking.

I think. I think we just walked in with, like, another person. Maybe he's up on the stage doing karaoke or you should probably talk to that guy. I don't know. It was. Maybe you mistake to tree branch for a greasy hair. He's got skinny branches. Musicians are skinny.

Did he have some greasy hair, like, Cromby? Son.

Are you there?

You're not here.

No, I'm just send suggesting.

Yeah, there was no. It was just the three of us. This is our adventuring party right here, where the war forged piggies. One, two.

Pigs sucks.

Twiddle Dean, twiddle dumb here are going to keep you guys here until we get distorted, okay? And as he says that the simulation, like, freezes, Burt half drags you back in. While you successfully got the necklace. You put the rest of your team in jeopardy.

We weren't in jeopardy.

Oh, really?

Oh, no, no.

Rewind.

This was a test, so you need to.

I botched that up.

Work as a team and use all of your abilities. What have we worked on? You could have performed on stage. You could have made a distraction as an animal, you could have just been a lively patron, and you could have sneaked. You could have picked the lock or something.

Oh, wow. Vicious mockery without the spell.

Wow.

Like an innate ability.

But I do think you'll also benefit by making copies of things, like these necklaces and whatever else you might take. And he takes out some forgery kits or valid seven.

Thanks, man.

That'll do.

I'd also suggest working with Myla in the cavity to work on your lock picking skills.

Yeah, that's why I didn't pick the lock. I wasn't confident, you know, ma'am.

And we're gonna resume back to montage, so we'll explore some of the other areas the camp. Like, you worked in the alchemy lab again, and you're picking up on the different scents and procedures. The cavity is the underground, essentially, of the camp and the rest of Narutoth island. The entrance, which is located via axis of the fountain in the middle of camp. Now, so far, only Shelby has been able to open it up for you because you haven't quite figured out how to open it up on your own. But while you're down there, you've been going through, like, randomly random corridors that seem to change and have traps and things that are locked. So you've been practicing those skills as well. So you've been doing all, like, the skills training and things like that throughout the week. Every day this week, Shelby has been getting you up earlier than the rest of camp. Around 05:00 a.m. winston has been doing the same with his goblin group. Cause you all. You often work with them being. Cause none of the other groups will work with the goblins, but they've been kind of pretty upset with you, haven't been talkative, and just tolerated you as you tolerate them. The goblins, with exception to Graham on the team, who is just doing his thing. So on the last day of the week, which Shelby has explained to you is reserved for kind of, like, it's not a free time day where it's like you can just go off and do whatever you want, but you can choose the activities you want to do. You can take missions or whatever things that work towards your experience, and then the last two days a week are completely yours for yourself. So she does have you wake up before dawn and head to the mess hall, as you usually have to get some breakfast from Sieg. You all enter the mess hall, and it is still very dark inside. The usual aromatics that go throughout the hall are not present, and you hear nothing cooking behind the counter where there.

Should be this time of day. Normally there would be.

Yeah. Zeke is there in the early hours of the morning, prepping for cooking for the day.

Where's Sieg?

Are you guys checking out the plays are going behind the counter.

Should we checking around, listening to perception check?

Is it dark? Dark, or is it, like.

Like, it's like. Like, it's already, like, dim lighting because he needs, like, some light in the back of the, you know, the kitchen to see. So it's very dim lighting, but for, like, I would say for, like, tree and seven, you have a lot of difficulty. I would say you guys can see as normal. Not even did much. You can see.

Is there anything, like, different that, like, we noticed?

Not that you see just from entering the mess hall, unless you want to go check out other places in the back.

Do we, like, there's no, like, noise. There's nothing, like, no noises. We don't hear him.

Would tree know anything about this because he's been working with Sieg?

Yeah. You know that Sieg gets here at, like, roughly two to 03:00 a.m. every day, starts prepping, starts cooking. Usually smells great. Great by now. And breakfast is ready.

So for the early rock. So people know that tree is working with Sieg. Like, he's like an apprentice of some sorts.

Yeah.

So if tree hypothetically went into the kitchen just to check things out, it would be normal ish.

Yes.

All right, I'm walking to the kitchen, my friends.

All right, so you go to the back kitchens, and you notice that the. That the room to the storeroom, to all the different herbs and ingredients that Sieg uses is a jar. And as you walk around, you see around the corner that Sieg is lying there unconscious.

Sieg's dead, baby.

Korg's dig. Korg's not digged.

Unconscious. Oh, meek, you're alive. He's got, like, a blood on his head, like, some swelling there makes dead. He's just unconscious, though, as far as.

Check on him, wake him up, or.

Try to stabilize it.

Yeah.

Sounds better than.

Absolutely.

Let's go check out him.

You. You are able to, like, we're using, like, a medicine. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I'll say. He's in such a state where you don't need a roll for this. With your medicine, you're able to, like, you know, use some, like, some strong smell. So, like, wake him up, and you apply some bandaging to his head and things like that. Gotcha. Basic treatment. Ah. What happened here? My head hurts.

What do you remember? We came in, and it's dark, and normally you've been cooking, so my book.

And he gets up, starts looking right. Frantically. They took my recipe book. How dare they? I'm gonna kill him.

What?

Okay, so all my recipes that I did a crate in my life, they're gone.

Do you remember anyone coming in?

There was a tail.

A rabbit.

It was a tail.

Oh, tail, was it a rabbit?

Tail is a long. And I couldn't tell on the light what color it was.

It was long.

Longer. Longish.

Well, it's not a rabbit.

Thin like a rat. Now, would you mind all trying to figure out what happened here? I have to still prepare for a day, but I promise I put in a good word with bramble foot, if you help me with this.

Oh, we're gonna.

I mean, three. I'll share the recipe for my book. A special studio.

Well, tree does look up to you, and I think we should do the right thing to help you out.

Thank you so much.

Any. Any information you could think of that could help us out?

Besides, let's get some lights on in here, and then you can go look at the storeroom. And he starts setting the light so you can start investigating.

You want to go investigate the store room?

Let's help sieg here.

These guys talk to sieg because I'm no good at talking.

Sure, so.

Yeah, you are.

Is anyone else going through who's talking to Sieg and who's in investigating the storeroom?

I'll investigate also, plus two.

Okay, so we're gonna start with performance. We're gonna start with Bella, and. I'm sorry. We're gonna start with seven, and you're also talking to seek. Yes. Okay. Yes. Fantastic.

Are you mocking me, boy?

All right, so what are you asking, Sieg?

I guess just so sieg, I don't know if this is helpful at all, but it looks like not a lot has been prepped yet. Does that give you an idea of what time maybe you were knocked unconscious? If, based on what you've gotten done so far in the kitchen, well, it.

Must have been about three or 04:00.

A.M. okay, we're going full on, like, CSI right now.

That's about. I mean, we're like, dun, dun, dun. I've done it with questions. Now it's like, the one, why would somebody want your recipe book?

Well, if I'm to be perfectly honest, you know, obviously I have a lot of recipes that can benefit y'all, but. No, let's change the accent again.

Do scottish people say y'all?

No, he's from the southern part of Scotland.

Exactly. You know, I've experimented a lot with recipes. Some that are dangerous for the constitution, if you pick up my meaning. I wasn't always just a cook. I might need some herbals or things to hurt my enemies, as it were. You can't work at a hero camp without having some. Some professional skills in battling.

Does anyone come to mind that might be frustrated with you or wanted your recipes that you wouldn't share with them or anything of the sorts?

No, but I thought I was just overusing. Or perhaps three here was overusing. But I've been down quite more of my stock than I usually been. I thought it was maybe three here, taking more of his share of the ingredients by accident.

Oh. So, speaking of which, if you were to look at the ingredients, does anything in particular seem to be missing that shouldn't be?

So the things that are missing from my stores here, some wild sage roots, some lavender sprig, some mandarin root and milkweed seeds. You know, things that helped with the constitution.

All right, so I don't know if this is something that could help you out, but if you were piecing together what could be made with the things that are missing.

Well, I only keep on hand restorative ingredients. I don't keep poisons on hand.

All right. Got tree? Any thoughts?

But I remember the end of the tail was a little hairier than the rest of the tail.

Poofy end.

The end of the tail is heavier.

Like a pom pom.

Sorry, I'm not even here.

Did you get hit from behind?

I did.

Did you see any feet when you fell?

He's gonna make a history. Check here to see how well he remembers. Actually, I'll. Goldor.

Golders turn into, like, the what? Oh, my God.

Oh, God. Get a new box. Cold or your sake, not ours.

What do you call that? Like, is it a magician's assistant? Like when, like, you know, during is during a stage show, the missions. Like, look in the box. Is there anything that looks out to you? Look at my sleeves. Golder has become like, the.

Well, I know it didn't sound like, uh, shoes were being used, is all I could say.

Okay, so not night shoes.

So a tail and poofy tail.

The end long and poofy.

Not necessarily poofy. Just had more hair.

Long and hairy at the end.

Do you think there were claws?

I don't know. Perhaps your colleagues here can tell us more about looking at the story.

We could look around and we're gonna.

Cut the bell of.

And Goldwater should look for any traces of. Guys, look for any hair. I don't know, you're in the, like, animal hair, fur.

So you hear any sounds too gold.

Or bell, make me. And we're gonna get to them real quick. We're gonna make some investigation checks.

Okay.

Where are my desk? Whoa.

Sorry. What was that?

A ten.

Oh, those. You okay?

Ten.

You're good. I don't.

Are you good?

Okay, 14 and a 14.

Okay.

Get to the music.

I sometimes like to listen to the tunes.

I like tunes.

Again with a ten and a 14.

This. I don't have any CSI music.

Dun dun short, though, you need like, this SVU music.

Yeah, yeah.

You noticed that around some of the shelves is like a wispy, stringy, blondish or brown hair. You notice that oddly, where it looks like some of the places have been pilfered, there's like, SAP. SAP, SAP. And lastly on a 14.

So I'm trying to set this up.

You notice, like, the floor has been, like, scratched almost by, like, you know, pointed nails or something like that. But you notice where probably one of the nails were, like, sitting, like they punctured into the floor. A looks like a mushroom cap, which doesn't appear to be like anything else on the shelves. You've noticed this, but Goldor has not.

Well, I. Tell him about it. I don't know anything about mushrooms.

Sure.

Whoever did this is being real subtle.

Gold or make me a nature check here.

Satin mushrooms. I have a tail.

I know. I feel like someone's trying to set us up.

It's only plus one.

Make it with advantage because you have you also now own are the pride over a herbalism kit. And you also have your poisoners kit, a 1212. And that was with advantage.

Yes, that was great advantage.

So even with weld, you identify this as amanita cap. This, you would know, is a mushroom that can be found in damp terrain, such as the cave was a little bit damp that you went through. You've also seen this ingredient in the alchemy lab, which is next to the library.

Hmm.

Maybe we head over to the alchemy lab that sets the library.

Can I take the hair?

I mentioned that to belt also? Do we recognize the hair?

Is there some sort of check to see if you know what that is?

What kind of, like, what type of hair it is?

Yeah, make me a. We'll call another neutral check.

Watch. It's like, us.

Me too. Or just.

Just a 20. Dirty 20.

Dirty 20. Sure. So as far as you can tell, like, you can't, like, because the hair got left behind. I did. You know, like, the hair is gonna be longer. You just. You could assume. I'm gonna say, like, you won't be able to identify the species from this hair, but I'll say from this, like, you're kind of putting together some clues. Like, this wasn't like, a random, like, beast that came in here, like, a bear, like, pilfering, like, looking for things. Like, it took intelligence to, like, knock out Sieg. This is a bipedal creature. You sees, like, some, like, you know, claw marks and, like, again, like, the nail, like the, like, pointed nails on the floor. So you put together the picture of something that's not quite like a normal human, but humanoid, perhaps, or bipedal.

Gotcha, though.

So I'm gonna mention that I've seen this mushroom over in the alchemy lab and that maybe we should check over there.

So the last thing we're gonna do is if tree or seven had any last questions, and then if you wanna share information, you can.

You wanna share that with him? Or.

Can I take, like, some of the hair? Colder's already running there.

Before you just hear, I'm gonna.

I kinda wanna use divine sense on the hair. You want to use divine sense as an action. You can detect good and evil until the end of your next turn. You can sense anything affected by a hollow spell or know the location of any celestial fiend undead within six.

No, you don't take that. Okay.

Hmm, curious.

Can. Can we ask, like, the sieg, if, like, he would use the mushroom for anything so that we could know for sure that it came from somewhere else?

Yeah, that's a great question.

Oh, what about the mushroom combined anything.

With you before he ran off? Yeah. Oh, is that a monita cap that you had there before Goldwater ran off with it?

Yes.

I don't carry that around in my stories that say, oh, typically using toxins.

Or poisons, would that work in conjunction? Would you know, if that mushroom cap, in conjunction with the ingredients that seem to be missing, could you formulate what that would turn into or what that.

Would make something not good for you harmful? If I had to put a word into it, guys.

Not good.

Do you ever have SAP around here?

No. Why don't you ask?

There's SAP in your.

That's a quite strange.

Do you have anybody where it works for you that has, like, claws on their nails?

I thought you're gonna ask SAP because, you know.

No, we know him. No, they're like, you even have SAP.

I mean, he. When he really. It's just, you know, you have to really get to know him.

I guess when I cry, it's SAP instead of water.

Oh, my gosh.

I. Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry. What was your.

Oh, no. Does he have anybody that, like, works with him that has, like, claws for, like, like, on their feet or anything?

No, I'm a pretty solo act.

Okay.

It's really silly. Someone's trying to set us up.

Well, I don't know, but none of those things are belonging here, so.

That's true.

Let's go figure out where they came from.

Are there any princess I know.

So well, that's not. Are you guys following gold or to the alchemy lab?

I can't stop talking. The accent. Yes.

Yeah.

So you all follow Goldor to the alchemy lab. Now, Goldor has spent the most time here, probably so far this week, out of anyone in his free time, because he likes mixing and exploring different, you know, herbal and, you know, ingredients and things like that. You know, different roots, fungi, mushrooms.

He's a fun guy.

The gold, or would know, the typical way it works is, like, if you want access to any particular items that are not as common, perhaps more dangerous, you have to sign them out of a logbook. Typically, on each station, there's, like, two to a station with a garbage pail next to each one, surrounding the walls, or like, a variety of, like, tubes and flasks and things that can help mix and burn and help create a variety of mixtures. In the lab right now, overseeing it is torn flameton, our blue dragonborn friend. Oh, to you all again.

I love this guy.

Does he have clawy feet?

Don't. He's our friend.

The library guy? Yeah, he's the best. He's super friend.

Well, I assume Goldar would be the one to talk to him because he's the one that.

Yeah. Oh, this is good, too, because obviously he likes soup and he must like food. He likes cooking. So his buddy in the kitchen got hurt.

Sure. Well, the first thing I want to ask is, is there anybody who's recently been through here either coming or going?

Not today.

Not today. And then I'm gonna show him the mushroom that we found and asked if anybody has signed out or signed in for access to the stores of the.

Well, you can check the logbook.

Thank you.

Surprisingly, Bramblefoot gave Cunin and his party extra chores. So guess who was in charge of the logbook this week? So, I mean, I think he. I had him write it down, but I saw him rip it up and throw it in one of the garbages.

That's concern.

You didn't stop him. You like?

Let's take a look through those garbage.

Well, I. You know, I can always have bramble.

Foot on my first. I for sure get it. You're good.

I think we'll take a look for the garbage also to see if we find any pages.

So like the lock, the log book is locked.

Certainly. Take a look inside the log book. But also we'll take a look scraps of paper that may have been thrown away.

Sure.

Make me some investigation checks if anyone's looking through some garbage.

Yeah, I mean, love some garbage.

I'm not touching garbage.

Really? We've seen you. We've seen you pour soup on yourself. Oh, man. Investigation. That's where I drove the light place.

To draw the line 24/7 that's you.

That's me. That's a me.

It's me. Mario. You're not using your fancy.

Living, are you? You're not. I'm not touching the garbage on a 24.

Thank goodness somebody told the.

Look at the back. It's themed of the.

I don't know why. Just on like this. As if it doesn't have a lid.

On a 24, you've rummaged through several of the garbage pails. In five of them you find garbage.

Pills are in this place?

Yes. Do you find different numbers? You also find in the back right one, a journal page.

Oh, man. Is it that missing recipe soup.

Would you like to hear about the journal page first or the numbers?

Let's hear about this journal page.

Yes.

Like Tasha said, he's left here.

Yeah, yeah. I just looked up the website.

So you see a page of hastily scribbled list of recipes with a variety of ingredients, including many from this lab. You see that many of them been crossed out. And failure. The word failure written next to many of the lists at the bottom right, you see scrawled. Almost need to try Sieg's ingredients. But most importantly need to get chromis slime can get from. And then the writer presumably wrote it on the next page of wherever they wrote this.

God damn it.

I turned the paper over.

Nope.

The whole front page was a variety of green.

Back page is like dear diary.

Wait, does Bellath and I's training of our deception or whatever we've been learning. Can we do anything with fingerprints?

No.

Okay.

We don't actually work for the SVU. Okay, I guess then look at the numbers.

Numbers.

Yeah. So you see on one slip of paper that you found, it says 16 0668-8898 numbers.

Same numbers I have in my line.

88 and 98 are on the other slide.

Do you mind repeating that? Yeah, that's right. Slower. And pause.

Let me know when you're ready. Sorry. 16 and then two digits. Zero. 668 on the second slip. 88, 98.

In that order again. That's the order that you're in.

Mm hmm.

Okay, he didn't do a very good job at ripping this off. He left three numbers on one page and two on the other. Okay. Oh, but what happens if we intern it? It's wrong.

Wait, how many garbage can. Wait.

Is it just. Is it ripped on, like, one side?

The paper, it was like a slip of paper?

Yeah. Was it, like, torn in half?

Yeah, if you try to fit the pages together, they don't fit.

Oh, so this page is missing.

What is he, like, 45 number long? An iPhone is only six numbers.

Yeah, but the. If it goes 68, 88, 98.

Do we have the log unlocked yet?

1606, you have the log unlocked?

Yes. You said the log was locked.

Yeah, by the car.

So you get the book and you see that the lock has, like, a combination lock on it, and you can entertain a six two digit numbers. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.

Can I try? 16, 06688.

Well, you're still.

Six.

There's only five.

Are there any more garbage cans?

Wait, you said the first page. Oh, wait, you said the first page of the 16. The second page had the 60, 80.

The first one had 6016. Oh. 668, and then the next 188, 98.

So we're missing.

Oh, so we're missing the one from missing a number. Are we missing them before the 88 or after the 98?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Hold on.

I feel you would be the other way around.

No, the. It actually goes. I'm sorry, it goes 16, 668, 88, then on its own piece of paper, 98.

So we're missing the number in between 88 and 98.

Oh, that's funny. Cause I was gonna say that.

Or the number less than six to nine.

Yeah, but there's one pattern.

Does it seem like the paper is missing? It sounds like a strange thing, but with the writing, is there any indication of where the. Which part of the number is missing? Like, is it before a certain number or after a certain number?

Say it one more time.

Like, does it look like where the. Where the rip was? Is it like, after the 98? Is it before the 68?

Like, yeah, it look, I mean, it looks like there was maybe something in between that first four numbers and the 98. 98. Yeah.

I was thinking. But that was weird, because why would it goes up like. It goes 60, 80, the 98. I was taking the 72.

If you want, I can give you a piece of paper if you want to recreate it.

Oh, do you have that piece of paper?

No, I don't have that piece of paper. I can give you a piece of paper. Would you like a piece of paper?

Yeah, sure. That'd be great. Cause it's 16. Cause the 16 to the zero six is minus ten.

Right.

Then it would go to, like, does it wrap around six, eight, nine. That's weird, though. 60. Eight's an 80. Eight's a 98. 78 would fit in the middle, but it's in the wrong spot. And then it would be 26 would be the one to the left of that, but it's not there. Right over time.

So one more time. The number that's by itself is 98.

Correct.

The other four are on the same piece of paper. Or they're on two separate sheets of paper.

Same piece.

And it's 16, 066-80-6688 yeah.

Yep.

1606. Six. Eight. Eight.

Okay, how about just double 00606?

I think. I think 89. I'm gonna try putting in 16, 066-8898 sure.

You put it in, and it does not work.

It's worth a shot.

Here are some facsimile fever.

Thank you.

You're back in the escape room. Put the squid picture together.

I feel like Brick's gonna hate me after this.

I know. Wait, is there. Are you seeing a number pattern?

So, the first thing that I saw was that most of these, except for the zero six, looked like the number that one ended what the next one started with.

Yes.

Which is why I thought 89 might do it.

Oh.

The other thing that I've noticed is.

That if you turn these over, like, 90 and 91.

Well, if we turn them over, the numbers are 89990. 868-889-9091 you're right. I'm gonna go with 868-788-8991 yes.

You put in that code, and the book unlocks.

I would have never figured that out.

I was like, these numbers all make different numbers when they're upside down.

That's crazy.

That's like one of those stupid connection clues. Like, these words are also words. If you flip them upside down and multiply them by seven, that's without just. Yep.

Thanks a lot. In your attention.

All right, so we'll take a look at what's inside the log.

Sure. He does so well with a big gulf.

I don't even think I get it.

Still, if you look at the numbers and you flip them upside down. Cause the eight is still an eight. If you flip upside down, eights and sixes don't change zero.

If, like, you literally flip them upside down.

Literally turn them upside down.

Get it?

Okay, so. So the number. The numbers there are 1606.

Yeah.

All right, so take that piece of paper, turn it upside down.

Yeah.

So the 16 turns into a 91.

Take the other piece of paper and turn it upside down.

The O six turns into a 90.

Whoa.

That's crazy. Wow.

I wouldn't figure that out with the paper in my hand.

You know, we're both like, I only doggy powders.

Um. Okay.

Well done.

Did you come up with that by yourself?

No.

You should have just said yes. I would have gave you so much credit. I would have been like, damn, that's not cool.

I'm not gonna solve that.

By yourself. Yes.

Credit goes to puzzles, predicaments, and perplexities.

And I don't know about you, but, dude, I think now that I understand.

It, I'm so simple and elegant.

I think golder should get an inspiration for that one.

Golder actually gets inspiration for that. Okay.

That was cool.

So, in the logbook, you start checking out, like, this week, and you see that different rogues and druids have used this logbook. But increasingly, towards the end of the week, a druid by the name of cotton burr has been signing out very, like, top like materials in excess almost. And Q and N has, like, signed off and everything, like, giving, like, no oversight. It seems like didn't, you know, care. So it seems like this particular person has been abusing it. You know, that someone, in order to take this out, someone has to provide their camp badge. So, for example, if you were all to look at your camp badges right now would say warforged piggy, and on the back would have your name on it.

Ooh. So someone has proof that they did this. Check this out.

Cotton fur. Sounds like the name of one of those bunny people. Yeah, like, just saying. Bet they have blonde fur.

I bet they do. And I bet. I wonder if they're friends with their training counselor, our high counselor.

So do you guys want to end it there for tonight?

Yeah, it's probably a good idea.

We should probably rest on that. Think about it. That's it. We'll see you next time. Thanks for listening. Bye. Bye. Campaign is produced by Levine, Orlip, Liam, Bridget and myself, Michael Haidt. I edit mix our show. Our intro voice recording was done by the one and only Coltrane. Music used in this podcast was sourced by Fanatical's 2023 music bundle featuring Dark Fantasy studio. If you like campaign, we hope you'll consider going to our show notes and supporting the show. Doing so helps us put out more shows just like this one. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time. Because you know what? Before you get in a canoe, you gotta get in your shoes and take a rest.

This bunny lady has been sent from hell to kill me. I hope you know that.

Hi.

I hate her with every fiber in my being.

What a session, man. Wowie, wowie, wowie. Ted. All right.