Gather your sword and board and get ready for adventure, because it's time for pain campaign. Three, two, one. Let's roll. We welcome you back to our unmitigated disaster of a d and D campaign with friends. We ask the question of what happens when we come out of coming. Made summer camp with d and D and the dice of fate. Well, we're gonna find that out here. Let's get started. From the murky bottom of time before time. Following a rare mushroom instead of stone, we have mike playing gold or Firebeard, the honest to goodness dwarven druid who's old enough for a beard and knows how to use a shillelagh.

Finally. Hi, everybody.

Warforged lays his hand upon thee. You better hope for some divine intervention, because wooden metal still has pain and emotion, especially when there's a little seagull flying by. Mike levine is TR 33. The war forged.

Paladin, the pain train is coming.

Aren't you supposed to be, like, for piggy's rites?

Oh, wait.

Yeah, piggy's rights are coming. When shreking is needed across the path that seems lost, or an arrow needs to find its target that seems too far away. We look no further than Bridget playing belleth, our tiefling ranger who hates plants, loves adventure, and who rather pull out of bow than engage in pointless conversation. You would hear the words that I just butchered and stepped over. And regardless, we're gonna keep going, because I am Michael Hyde, off key raiderock and always, and I am playing seven, the bard. But it's not about me. I'm gonna pass it along to Liam, who puts the danger in DM, our master of ceremonies, Liam, take us away.

Awesome. And, like, I love how smooth that was. Cause I was like, am I gonna have to do Liam redacted DM or Liam redacted DM?

Oh, man. That is actually. That is your. What do they call that? Like, an epic moveset from the boss. The legendary feat called.

Oh, a legendary. Yeah, okay. Yes.

A legendary action is a legendary action. Redacted.

Yes. Yes, it is. Okay, so you learned that you had the scavenger hunt, where a reward was on the line, and you went through a variety of puzzles and escape room like activities. And the your rival from Pyerglo Kunin, with his little beholder mini servant, tried to sabotage you in the midst of you trying to earn your reward, you ended up being the first group back in the scavenger hunt, and you all earned some magic items, and you leveled up. Did we all add our magic items, by the way.

Thanks so much.

So.

Three questions.

I did, too.

I know.

Were full of sports. Yes, I did.

Is it equipped from when you printed this out?

That is an awesome question.

I'm not sure, man.

I'm not sure it is. I don't think it affected my armor class. I think it just has a special ability to it.

Okay.

I think the hide armor kept my armor class the same.

Great.

I did not.

I was gonna roll for random ability, and I'm just waiting.

So you have the boomerang shield.

Ooh, yes, that's right.

I do. Remember, you're Captain America now.

Captain America, yes.

So you can attune and equip that really quick. You have your fabulous gem.

Greatest name ever. It's called the fabulous gem.

Fabulous gem fabulist. Yes.

Not fabulous.

Correct. Ah, cool. I mean, we can call it fabulous gem hell.

Oh. See it. Fabulous gem equipment. And then tune. Right.

Tune and equip.

What was the shield call again?

I think it's called the boomerang kisses.

My people tuned the podcast. The fabulous shadow shield.

Yep. Boomerang.

Oh, there is a tune. I like how oral has this book. He doesn't need Wi Fi. He's got it all there.

Maybe I don't have it all there.

Which book you out there? Players.

It's players handbook.

Nice.

I'm looking for fungal. The armor. Fungal spores.

It won't be in there.

Which is not in here.

It's a DLC item. So if you want to give me your sheet real quick, I'll check.

It's hide armor of fungal.

Yeah, your ac wouldn't have changed, but as long as it has the ability on there, that you can do.

Yes. Actually, let me check, because the ability.

Maybe my wife just, like, conked out.

Oh, did it? Yeah. Do you need the.

I'm good. It just came back.

Wifi passed over. For the listeners not listening at home, I am really bald.

That is a fat burrito.

That was a fat burrito.

I can hear it now. Sorry.

Can you hear me now?

Yes.

Oh, there you go.

Yes. Came back.

Glad to hear that.

Okay, I put the map in the group chat. Did anyone have any quick initial questions about the map?

Oh, is it. Oh, yeah.

Not gonna lie. Didn't look at it.

Not gonna lie. Followed suit.

I did look at it. It looked like Disney.

It's not super to scale. It's, like, showing, like, some main points of interest. It's really meant to give you a sense of what's there. And is it that. So it's not to scale. It doesn't show all the minutiae.

So we're in this fire campy area.

Yeah. You're probably even more to the right. But that was just to kind of show, like.

Yeah, over there.

Yeah, you're in the forest.

I see why you say Disney world now.

You're in the forest.

See, it's got a mixture of epcot. Yeah. And it has, like, ancient rum over there. Nice. Which is nice. Epcot.

But there's, like, a giant marshmallow elemental.

There is now, featuring the Internet. Ooh, yes.

That epcot ball was that silvery, large, silvery spear that you heard the screams come out of last time.

Can we just call it the Epcot ball?

Sure. Disney. Don't do us.

Epcot has one's here, too.

One, two.

Well, this one, too.

Experimental prototype community of tomorrow. Tomorrow.

Yeah, tomorrow. Tomorrow.

So, at the end of last session, Qnin and his cronies were baiting you with some cantrips and things like that. I believe it was Bella whose proverbial straw broke first, and she retaliated with a spell of her own. And I believe it was maybe tree, who was tree, or someone else that did the word run, shouted really loud. But the time was. Timing was perfect, because at the time that your spell hit them, the dragonborn that you met in the library was carrying all his little potion things, and I spoke all over the s'mores, and they all came alive. Blow up into gigantic creatures that have been unleashed on the campers in the forest, leaving you with a gigantic s'mores chimera. But the run was timed to make. To literally shout run to the people, so they didn't know it was run to qnin and his cronies, but rather run to everyone else. That's the appearance of that.

That's what we meant to do.

Different I meant to do. Yeah.

Yeah.

Definitely.

Inexplicable luck.

It starts now.

Yes. Luck coins.

All right. And with that, unless we have any questions, we will start the showdown between the warforged piggies and the s'mores chimera.

Oh, that's us. That's right.

You got your badges and everything, too. If you want to change it, you can. You can put in these paperwork.

Can I use prestidigitation to put little piggies in all of our outfits?

Jesus Christ. Like, that's your outfit.

It'll last an hour. And you wait up to do three people. So choose which three.

It might be hard to see on your armor.

Wait, what?

You guys got pink.

Come on.

All right.

Get a cool pig on. You got the battle music on, like, maybe?

Oh, yeah, sure. Cool.

We can all roll the D 20 and whoever gets the three highest gets a little piggy on their arm.

Yeah, there you go.

Oh, I like that.

On the arm.

I'm part of the piggy trap, the piggy tribe.

Just as a point of interest, if you like to flavor your group further, spell tattoos are a thing, so they work like spell scrolls where they're, like, they're a one time use, unless, you know, we get even more fancy with, like, a permanent one. But there are spell scrolls that are one time use, so you can have it in the shape of a piggy. They'll have, like, the inner workings. Be like the spell, so you can have piggy's temporarily tattooed on you or carved into. So. So be it. It'll go away. Oh, God.

Mike, I think your fear spell needs to be the sound of, like, a horde of squealing pigs.

Yeah, yeah. Guess who's coming?

So you hear a cacophony of, like, oh, my gosh. Like, animal and creature sounds coming from the forest and the shouts and screams of campers. This chimera, the head of a goat, aligned and in the middle, a vicious dragon is staring you down. Before combat starts proper, I need everyone to make me a dexterity saving throw as the floor has been covered in sticky smores and will make it difficult to move.

15 for me.

Eight.

Doesn'T get any better than a four.

Anyone who rolls below a ten moves at half speed for the round.

That's fine. Actually, would you say this Camaro, how big is this Camaro, would you say it's large.

It's large.

Okay.

You know, it's like a. As, like a technical term, it's large.

Exactly. One of its mouths.

1111.

So you passed. So as the staring you down Belliff, you are immediately taking the initiative. So in terms of a reminder of the environment that our players are in, they met in the forest around a huge bonfire, which is in the middle of their environment, if you will. To their northeast is a destroyed podium where director Fizzlewick, the druid leader of the camp, was standing as she chased some of the creatures into the forest. Also near the players is the smashed s'mores table, which collapsed underneath the weight of the growing creatures. To the northwest and the southeast are high cliff areas about 15ft up from the ground. And then, of course, there are trees just like, leave. Yeah, they. So all the high counselors. Like the. And the. All the high counselors mean like the teachers, then, like the regular counselors and the director all chase all the other s'mores creatures into the fiat. Relatively speaking, the. The s'mores camara is like small potatoes.

Okay. Okay.

Like, there was a s'mores dragon that was unleashed into the forest.

They're dealing with bigger marshmallows.

Oh, yes.

Bigger marshalls in the sea.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Doing irreparable damage to the forest. I think someone might have to pay for this.

Uh oh.

I'm paying for.

Anyway.

So you would say that they're dealing with jumbo marshmallows?

Yes.

Have you seen the marshmallows that are square, that they go on s'mores? That's life changing. I have perfectly thin on the spore.

You know what else is life changing? Taking initiative.

When you say life changing? Meaning from changing from alive to not live. All right, here we go.

I'm going, right?

Yes.

So if I. That's five. If they're five, right? Yes, five. Okay. What would you like? Once I get to the tree, I can go up tree. Right.

You depending on your movement, or, like, if you're using the armor, like, if you wanted to, like, try to jump into the tree, you could do, like, your jump, provided you have enough walking speed left, which you have this. This turn.

Yeah. But it only takes five to get to said tree.

Perfect. So you probably, like ten to get to, like, the center of it. Okay. To actually climb up it. And then if you have enough, our regular jump, you can. Or if you have your armor, you can do that.

So I have, I add. I add plus ten to my movement on my first turn. So it's a 20ft of movement. So I have enough to get to.

Tree, you have to get straight and you want to climb the tree. I don't know if you have enough to climb the tree because the tree is going to be.

Not you.

At least 10ft to 10ft to get into, like, the lowest branch. And for a jump, you need your minimum speed. Okay, what's your modifier for strength?

Negative. Negative two.

If you want to do a vertical jump without especially running for it because of the sticky ground, you need to make an athletics check. Or you can use your armor.

Um, okay.

You look pretty nimble doing that. Not acrobatics right now, believe it or.

Not, I have some good acrobatics.

That is just very agile.

You are agile?

Um, okay, yeah. I'm gonna use my armor then, which has one char has charge, right?

Yes.

Yeah.

Okay.

When it says five charges, does that mean, like, ever or.

No, I believe yours resets on, like, a long rest or something like that?

Yeah, like a wish. That's it.

Oh, okay. It's. I could use it four times before. It's like, now I can use it for it. Okay, got it. Okay, so I'm using that, and I'm gonna jump up into said tree.

Okay.

Does that count as a. That's a movement, right? That doesn't count as an action.

Does it say on your armor?

Oh, it says one action, one action.

So it still gives you a bonus action, a reaction for the round.

Can I take that back?

Yeah, you absolutely can. So the high jump rules is when you make a high jump, you leap into the air, a number feet equal to three, plus your strength modifier. So 1ft if you move at least 10ft on foot immediately before the jump. And if you can't do that, you need to make an athletics check.

Okay, then I just want to hide behind the tree. Like, get cover behind the tree.

Okay. You absolutely can. Yep. You absolutely can.

So where should I put this?

You can put that, like, here. Yes, exactly. That is perfect.

But I'm not in tree.

But you're not in the not you tree.

Just to clarify, you just listen to the tone. That's how you know the difference.

The tree. And then you can pass that on to whenever you're. You're done later. Two. Seven. Yeah.

Okay, so I'm gonna attack with my bow.

Go for it. 1212 does not hit. Okay. As a reaction, the chimera is going to do nothing.

Okay.

Because reading the rule explains the rule.

Oh, well done.

Gotcha.

Sorry, you speak up. What was that part? I got confused.

Okay, so I'm gonna attack again.

Okay.

Because I've dreaded ambusher.

Yes.

So I'm just gonna take two for me this time. 15. Nope.

1717 hits.

That. That's eight. Plus another 1414.

So you unleash an arrow and it goes into the right shoulder by the goat head into a marshmallow part, and kind of, like, sinks in there and the goes. Brah. Whoa, whoa.

I don't hate this guy singing.

Before I end, my turn, would it be an action to take some sort of insight check or something like that to see if it took as much damage as it should?

Yeah, you can do a perception check or investigation, whichever you choose. Sorry. Perception or investigation.

25.

25S. Yeah, this absolutely did. Like, you didn't see it, like, resist at all. You see that the arrow has, like, sunk into its flesh, so potentially it's recoverable more easily recoverable, I should say. Okay, let's say the Graham cracker bar.

I'm a turn to golder firebeard, and I'm telling that you rock too hard for one hand. He appreciates it. And then while that's going, and I am going to. I'm gonna try command.

Read me command real quick.

This is where the moments from say, I'm not gonna try. Command has to be a human.

No, I don't know.

Oh, you speak one word command to a creature. You can see within range. The target must succeed in a wisdom saving throw, or follow the command on its next turn. The spell has no effect if the target is undead, if it doesn't understand your language, or if your command is directly harmful to it. Some typical commands in their effects follow up with.

All right, so I'm gonna have you roll me a percentile so you can roll your d 100.

That's that orange piece of gloriousness my way.

So I'm gonna give you good odds here. I'm gonna say you roll above a 50. 50 or above, it can understand English or comment.

Okay, she got a 50% chance here.

He should really make it like, 48, like the house always wins.

No.

52. Yeah. 48. Just wait. Two to the. Yeah. Why am I trying to make it harder for myself? 53.

Oh, leave so it can understand common.

No. After all, for it. Okay.

Yeah.

Stop. Sleep, halt, lay down. Juggle, bounce paw. What do I do?

Well, I'm behind a tree.

It's still very confusing.

I mean, like, stop isn't always a good word.

And halt. Stop. Oh, nice.

Sorry, I went there. Different directions. The name of love. Yeah. Can you hear one?

Okay, who else? Think of marshmallows. Melt. Yeah. Stop.

Stop. Okay. All right. And then what was the saving throw?

The saving throw is a DC 40 on a 27. No, it is. Sorry. It is a. Where is it? Sorry. This is called time for elevator music. A wisdom saving throw. Wisdom saving throw or follow. What is it? Oh, Wisdom 13. Sorry about that.

Wisdom 13. Okay. All right. Excellent. All right. Anything else on your turn?

Got the bargain. Spiration. I want to turn to the group and give them a thumbs up. We're doing great.

All right, stop doing that. You can pass the cork board over to Goldur.

So I have questions. Is he wearing anything metal?

No, and I can't.

He's wearing the arrow.

As you say that.

Yeah, I know about it.

The arrow is embedded.

Can I see the metal arrowhead?

You cannot.

That's what I just checked. If I can't see it, then I can't do it. All right, so how much burning damage would a bonfire cause to a typical creature?

It really depends. Like, if you. Do you like your marshmallows more like charred? That's how I like it. Yeah.

He might be susceptible to fire damage being made of marshmallow, but since I can make.

I would call that a. You ask me, like, what you would roll for damage or, like, if I.

Were to create a bonfire, how do.

You like your marshmallow?

You were to be caught in the bonfire. How much damage would that typically cause to a creaking caught in the bonfire?

Yes, I do.

So I would probably. You rock to her for one, do that to, like, a. Depending on how big and dangerous the bonfire was between one to maybe more if something was susceptible to it.

Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay, so then. And then, like, that's just every. Every time that he spends time in the bonfire area.

Sure.

Okay. And my necklace of warmth, how large a bonfire does it create?

Your necklace of warmth?

Like, physically, how large is the bonfire? Because I know it, like, creates bonfire.

Yeah. Let me take a look to see.

If you're just looking at how much space there is between us and him.

Yeah. Inventory necklace of Warren. Oh, is it not.

Marshmallow?

I was looking for bonfire, but I couldn't find it.

I got it.

Got it.

All right, create bonfire. So it's gonna be a five foot cube. Okay. It's one d eight. Definitely one d eight fire damage. Unless they do a dexterity save, though. So, yeah, if you're casting bonfire, then, yeah, it's gonna be one d eight. But again, it'll be more if.

If it's susceptible to fire or whichever else. And using the. Using the necklace as a bonus action, or is it. Or is it a standard action?

We'll call it a bonus action.

You missed this fire.

All right, I'm gonna use my bonus action to create. To create a bonfire in a five foot square that sort of touches him.

Sure. Okay. I was gonna see. So they just connect with the other bonfire, but, yeah, you can just do it right underneath them.

All right, I'll just put that right.

Perfect.

Yeah.

Awesome. Great. And now it's going to make the dexterity saving throw. What's your spell safe? DC.

My spell save DC is right here on the sheet. It's written out.

Wow.

It's written out right here on the sheet. And yet I'm having a hard time finding it. Hold on 1 second.

What if I give you press digitization to make it think that something else is in fire. The smell of it. What does that do?

There are so many numbers on the sheet. I'm having a hard time finding it.

I have your thing up as well. It'll be where your spells would be. Your dc is 14.

Thank you.

Okay, so when it begins its turn there, it'll have to make that dexterity saving throw. And it can't move because it's not.

Able to move because heights gone and stopped it. So. All right.

And then imagine that was like the worst thing I could have done. Like, I caused like, chaos for everyone.

All right. And then, well, I'll need something else to do because that really didn't take. Didn't take very much.

Like, how do you make a really, really big fire? Like really big fire. Like, light this sucker up.

Yeah. Sorry. Grit. And then create bonfires right here on my face. Now that I'm looking.

Now I see, actually, you hear a bob into my father. Oh.

I cut up his arm and his leg and left him to die.

You were my brother, Anakin. Sorry.

You were the chosen one.

You're the chosen one.

What killed you, love. No, I think you choked her.

Our empire.

Actually, you know what? I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'll do this one. I'm gonna do it anyway. I might as well do that. I'm going to cast spike growth.

Okay.

In a 20 foot, 20 foot area around it. Between. Between tree and state by feet.

Would you like a pen to draw?

I have a pencil.

Great. Fantastic. So.

And it's a 20 foot. So it should be four squares on the side.

Yes. That's a pretty big, pretty big square. Difficult terrain for the duration. That's difficult terrain for everyone. So on top of the s'mores, the spike roof will also be there when a future moves into or within the area. It takes two d four. Fixing the elementary every 5ft it travels. Yep. Cool.

Should be fine.

Oh, it gets more fun. You'll see.

Yeah.

I got another trick up my sleep.

Don't worry.

I got another trick. There you go.

Golder has tricks up his sleep. I'm really glad he's in our team.

Just remind me to take the spike growth damage if I forget.

Oh, no, I will just forget.

Don't worry.

All right.

I plan on him moving a lot.

Of through the tree. Don't do that.

Oh, I'm gonna roast this marshmallow.

Nice.

Again. You hear the goat go. Ba ha. The dragon go. And the lion go.

Yeah, it checks out.

I'm kind of freaked out.

So many animals wait, animals?

I speak to animals.

You do you know what I asked you?

Thinkyev. Oh, geez.

Free. Oh, you don't take those statements lightly. I think you could talk to this guy.

I understand that, mad tree.

You should challenge him to a duel.

Okay, man, if you want to do.

Wait, hold on. How many spells can I cast?

You have somehow. We have one spell slot left. I don't know. We'll say you have them cleared. I'll just say, everyone, spell slots are fine.

Wow.

You just reset it. Okay, you have three.

All right, so I am going to. I feel like I should speak to him, but go for it. Yeah, I mean, let's speak with animals.

Speak with animals. What are you saying to it?

I go, hey, marshmallow, friend or foe?

That. That was your choice. All right? We're gonna be in good shape.

It's not. What up, my peeps?

Oh, man. Don't you have s'mores?

Are you even a dada?

You don't have s'more to say right now.

Oh, God, I'm so nervous about this part. So you say. So what are you saying to it?

She kissed.

But yet I say in my ba. I say, hello, my friend in common.

Or like, is it more of like a fancy or it's more of a.

Fancy greet of hello, my friend.

The goat responds to you. Why hurt? Everything hurt. What is life? Why everything hurt?

Baby, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more.

My talking's working. Then the dragon turns to you.

You have inexplicable walk.

Okay, okay.

And then, like.

What is the. Wait, do I understand the meow or.

No, no, just, just mute. Meows. Doesn't have anything.

So I look back at the. The goat thing, and I say, marshmallow, goat thingy. And I say, what's hurting you? What's.

What's wrong?

What's the matter?

Pain. Unbearable pain.

Is it the arrow?

There was nothing. And now I'm here.

You want to go away?

Now you're here. Was it the dragon?

Kill me. Kill me. Kill me. Oh, my God. This is.

This is turning.

This is a dark turn.

And they start snapping at each other.

How about I line goes. I look at that goat thingy, and.

I say, you have one more line. Seconds in battle. Seconds. Seconds, man, I'm gonna help you free.

I'm gonna free you from this dragon.

You fight with me, and we take down.

Fight with me. Yours. Yeah, fight with me.

Fight with me.

You're not telling him to fight with you? No.

No, I'm not. I'm telling him to fight on your side. I will fight on your side, and I will free you from this pain of this dragon. As long as you fight with us alongside.

Please say alongside.

Fabulous man said stop.

Fabulous man said stop.

I'm fabulous.

Fabulous man. Fabulous man thought he was.

You were attacking him, but you're not. You're not attacking him. I will explain that to him. You're on our side. We will fight this dragon together, all of us, with the fabulous man.

Okay, that's enough.

This is like. This is like name of the wind, except I'm not gonna be like Kvothe the bloodless. I'm gonna be seven. The fabulous.

Wait, so is he joining us?

Oh, not at the moment. Not at the moment.

Definitely not.

Okay, you see?

Your turn. I would say he's, like, attached to.

The rest of the Camaro.

Listen to me. Listen to me.

You get a turn on itself would be nice, right?

You still have a bonus action, movement. Anything else you want.

A snake tries to eat its own tail.

I'm going to compel duel.

I'll get a compel duel.

Okay.

To compel the dragon to fight me.

Why are you understanding any of this right now? Or we just hear him making a lot of animal noises. I'm not sure if you're getting anywhere with this, but you want to get him to maybe fight himself.

No.

You got this.

Sorry.

Door.

Yes.

He.

Meow.

I can't compel him to fight himself, though. I can only compel him to fight me.

Mm hmm.

Yeah. Those 6 seconds. Six. Second turn starts to go. Well.

All right. That's it. I'm bringing down the pain. What do you think, guys? Do you think I should bring the pain?

You should bring the pain, but don't.

Go running in the goat goes. Kill me. Hurry.

It's gonna bring you a lot of pain because the spikes will do a lot of damage.

All right, my friend. I'll heed your warning, and I will.

Do my thunderous strike. What's not gonna do those spikes. Ah.

Swipe.

Thunderous smite.

Oh, yeah.

I gotta make it. DC strength 13, saving throw.

Gonna make a spice hardest, and he's gonna fail.

That it passes. Does it take half damage on a save?

Oh, you wanted heroes. Well, we're here.

Does it take half damage on the save? Please say yes.

Imagine each one of those animals represents one part of this more.

Thunderous mate. The first time you hit with them.

Oh, it doesn't matter. Yeah, there's no safe to be made, so you get the effect until you hit it. You have to hit it with a melee weapon to get under smite. Okay, so you've essentially charged up your weapon.

Okay, so now can I swing my weapon at it?

No, you can use your action to.

Charge your shields and then throw. Throw your boomerang shield at it.

No, because it's a melee weapon attack. Unfortunately, that would be a ranged weapon attack, unless it was a shield bash. But he's doing a ranged attack.

Right.

Okay, dungeon master, I see you almost.

Like you control the game.

All right, I will do that. I will do a ranged toss of my shield.

Go for it. What's the dealio?

The boomerang shield.

Oh, yeah, I forgot you.

Yeah, right.

All right, you're gonna roll a d 20, and you're gonna add your dexterity modifier plus your proficiency to roll a d 20.

Rolling.

So you're gonna add four to that roll.

It's a six plus a four.

Unfortunately, that doesn't hit. Wait, did you say six plus four? Yeah, no, that's it. Sorry. So, yeah, you throw your shield, it hits the Graham cracker part and then comes back to you.

Apparently he's got strong armor.

It's a marshmallow.

How close are you to the chimera? What's the amount of, like.

I think there's layers. Everything is like, different parts of the. Different attributes. Attributes.

Okay, so now the chimera will take an action.

Bring it, bring it.

It is going to.

Move.

No, it. You're actually nothing. Next turn and we can't move.

That's right.

So.

I'm sorry. What were you gonna do?

This turn? Yeah, well, outside of its turn, it can't move until it becomes a turn. So it's using a reaction right now. Okay. So it is going to try to get into closing distance with. What's it called, tree here. But it's gonna cross over all your junk first. Yeah, that was a fortress or.

Sorry. So that's like two d, four for every 5ft. And it's like 20ft. So that's like a force. That's like eight d, four.

Are any of those, like, just saving throws for we?

I don't think that gets a saving throw. I think it's just. Hey, you walk through those spikes?

Yeah. Yeah. 84 damage.

Bonfire damage. So bonfire is a dexterity bonfire. It passes so it doesn't take the fire damage there, and then the spike growth is just flat damage.

It is flat damage. It is two d, four.

Okay, you can roll that damage.

I believe it is piercing damage, if that matters.

It does not you can. You can every 5ft. So it crossed 10ft of that. Okay. So you can roll to essentially 44 d force.

Mess it up.

No, you keep the core board until it's someone else's turn.

I like one of your damage.

Ten points of damage.

Well, if it hits me, I get.

To use hella for you.

Nice move.

Or lip. Thank you.

You like?

But it's better.

Okay, but wait, are you big marshmallow?

Can you read me command one more time?

Says, especially effective against marshmallows.

Read the second part. Like, like the unless part.

Like, unless it's gonna be one of those things where it can, like, kill me in the face. The second part. Some typical commands. Not that one. Okay. Oh, wait. The target must succeed on a wisdom saving throw. Or.

No, like the Altruri top, you speak.

A one word command, a creature you can see within range. The target must succeed in a wisdom saving throw or follow the command on its next turn. The spell has no effect if the target is undead, if it doesn't understand your language, or if your command is directly harmful to it. Some typical commands. Death. Upright or no, you're good. If you're a marshmallow, you're especially tree.

Was that your turn? Okay, so it is gonna become the smore chimera. Stern, may I have the clipboard?

More chimera.

So I am going to make a.

Public trying to think of song titles.

I know.

I'm going to make a public d 20 roll. This chimera is not particularly smart. I am rolling to see if it realizes that standing in the bonfire and the spike growth is harmful to it. And if it is, it's gonna be able to move because stopping would be harmful to it.

Ah.

So it rolled less than zero.

Wow.

It does not realize this is harmful to it. All right. On the chimeras, baby, once more.

Go to your tire, man.

On the chimeras turn.

Give me more time.

Give me some more. Eleven.

Oh, nice. That's better than baby, once more time.

You see all them, like, roaring and things that you see the trio up there going, and you start to see kind of like its belly full and then contract as something rises through his throat. It is going to eject a eruption of molten s'mores chocolate at anyone in a ten foot radius spear centered on the point right here. So everyone but Bellis, everyone but Bella is gonna need me to make a dexterity saving throw.

Dexterity saving throw.

It's good that you talked to it.

I don't think I made it. It's possible is the DC five or less.

Where's my dice?

Got a 19.

1915. And. Okay, so just five.

Team five.

I got a five.

I got a rock.

I got a rock.

I don't know what that's.

Oh, wait, if you pass, you still take half damage.

Sorry.

F of a hundred.

Whatever. He's rolling.

Rolling. Hayden.

Okay, 14 damage. And have it if you passed.

Seven damage. Oh, seven damage. That should be my name.

And then at the start of the count, I need everyone to make me another dexterity saving throw to see if the. You got stuck into the s'mores this turn.

That's delicious. A delicious way to go.

21.

You're okay.

So this is dexterity. I don't know if I'm gonna make it.

Save and throw.

That would be a twelve.

Okay, I got a 19.

Okay, everyone passes. All right, and that is going to be Bella's turn. I'm trying to reach that.

Bring the arrows, Bella.

I was waiting for someone to grab the pointy, sharp.

Real life, dexterity saving throw.

I just want to unpinch my hand from this.

Yeah, can I just use my movement to get up into the tree? Now.

Him still would need to do a jump, and your jump is not enough, so you need to make an athletic check.

That would just be my movement, though. Right? So if I don't get it, like, does anything happen? No, I don't. Okay, I'm just gonna try athletics.

So, athletics check.

Yeah.

Two.

Two. Did she do it?

No, she got stuck into the s'mores and her feet can lift too high.

Okay, I'm gonna stand there and I'm gonna cast hunters mark on it.

Oh, wait, hold on 1 second. Wait, I lied. I lied.

Oh.

Oh, I lied. Hold on. You can. There's a reading the rules. Explain the rules. Additionally, because I read you the normal high jump rule, but additionally, you can extend your arms half your height above yourself during the jump. Thus, you can reach above you a distance equal to the height of the jump, plus one and a half times your height. So you could normally jump 1ft. And then how tall are you?

9Ft or so 100ft. This is like holy hand grenade.

Five. Five. So that would be, what, like seven.

What's 5.5 times 1.52.75? So seven point.

I don't do math.

No, you're not. 5.5. Plus half of that.

Plus one. Okay, so with that in mind, because you get up to 9ft, naturally doing that.

8.25.

No, 5.5 times one point.

Oh. Times. Sorry.

So I will say the d the athletics check. I'll let you reroll now that we have the new information is gonna be low DC 8.25, because you're only 1ft off.

Yeah.

New dice. New dice.

Eleven.

You're good.

I mean, you're welcome.

You're only 1ft off, so.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay, so I'm in.

All right, so you get into the first branch and you are 10ft up off the ground.

Now, great casting, hunters mark on it. And then I'm gonna hit it with my go for it.

Roll for attack and damage at the same time and see if it hits. Your fast assault 1414 does not hit. So you loose your arrow and it grazes the side of the Graham cracker.

Still inspiration from last game.

I had inspiration last year.

Yeah, you gave it to all of us.

What did I do? What did we do last year?

He gave it to all of us. We have all inspiration. We never used it.

Yeah, if you want to roll with advantage, you can.

No, I'm not gonna waste it on this.

Spirit.

But I still cast a hundred mark on it, so.

Okay, sure. All right. Anything else for you? All right. You may pass that to seven when you're ready.

Hey, seven, do you still have thunder wave?

Yes. Do it.

Well, yeah. It'll push him 10ft away from you if he fails to save, which does. Oh, extra damage.

That's a genius idea.

I know.

That's why I said it.

I just suddenly feel like I'm. I suddenly feel like I'm in a cast. Thunder wave. Yeah. Second level. It's more. Is it more about the distance than is the damage?

Um. Just make sure that when you cast this, it's not also hitting all your teammates.

Yes. You need to move yourself up next to tree.

Yes.

So that it's just him and not the rest of us.

Good plan. Tree, what color are you in?

I'm yellow.

Yellow.

He's standing right next to him.

So.

So if I move. Am I blue?

Yes.

If I move to the.

If I move on the right hand side of him there.

So I'm moving adjacent and I'm going to give him some. I suddenly feel like casting thunder wave. You know what?

That's such a good idea.

That's killer. I like to thank my buddy.

That's brilliant.

That's brilliant.

I would say so yourself. And let me just see some real fast. As a second level spell, the damage increases.

I think it just does more damage.

It's almost better just doing the first level to get the distance right.

I think the DC might be higher for the saving.

It's a constitution and second level spell.

DC should be the same.

So I'll do as a first level to save myself a slot, and then I'll do thunder wave as my first slot. And I'm also gonna. I got you. I'm also gonna turn to Bella and tell her she rocks too hard for one hand. And I'm gonna say, oh, wait, s'more. This is for you. And I'm gonna cast thunder wave.

All right, we are going to do. I'm gonna try to not drop.

Oh, don't moist your hands.

I wish I could give you more inspiration, but, you know.

Oh, my God.

You know what? I'm trying to think of something like a. Another. Like a smaller dice. Oh, can I. Can I borrow that?

This?

Yes.

Just treat it with love. You want. This is better for you. Here, this good. What are you trying to do?

You can hold. Oh, I'm doing a public roll here.

Oh, this is like the tower of. I'm sorry, I mean, this is a box of. The box of destruction.

What's the DC?

Oh, DC it is. Constitution 13.

It rolled Nat 16. Okay, so does it do anything on a.

Wait, can I use.

Does half damage, I believe.

Yeah. Wait a minute. Am I allowed to use a bardic inspiration to. What can I do with that?

No, not for DC.

Not for DC. Okay. Okay. On a fail. No, the creature takes half as much damage and isn't pushed.

Sure, take our roll for now, at least.

It's one. Oh, wait, two d, eight. Yeah, two d, eight. Okay. No, no, it's failed save. Oh, half as much damage.

Okay, so you still roll two d, eight.

Okay, but then have it. Okay, one d, eight.

You want another one?

Yeah, if you don't mind. Thank you. If you tarnish my number, just throw my dice out the garbage when you're done with it.

What was it?

Eight.

All right.

Yeah, they're still good. Eight and 311. Nice job. Oh, no, sorry. 5.5, random to ten.

Okay. All right. Anything else in your turn before you pass it to gold or.

Oh, um. Can I back away?

Sure.

Um. Yeah. Come here, puppy, puppy, puppy. All right, that's good.

Yeah.

Well, wait, sorry. No, wait. Um. Wait, where's me?

To me gold or to me my s'mores?

Who's yellow?

It's nice.

Oh, is it yellow more?

Is this some mellow yellow?

Oh, isn't that a drink?

Yes. It was a song. Yeah. It's not good song, Mel. Yellow.

What was do wisdom, save throw at the end of its turn. I forgot to do the wisdom save.

Sorry. You'd think that someone who has these spells would know what they're doing. Me, I'm talking about myself. Thank you. It says wait at the end of the turn.

No, I'm asking, like, did it. Was it supposed to roll at the end of its turn for.

To see if it could be, like, not charmed anymore?

I don't know.

I should say, yeah, if you read.

That's what we. We say at our magic. The gathering night. Reading the cards, explaining the cards.

Range cast on one action range duration, one round.

Okay.

And then it doesn't say anything. It doesn't say anything here about it. Like, breaking.

It's only one round duration.

The DM determines how the target behaves. Yep. It doesn't say anything.

So it'll go back to normal next time.

Great.

Great.

Perfect.

Press.

Perfect.

All right, I'm moving.

Cool. Awesome.

And then I'm going to use. Oh, good. I'm gonna use thorn whip.

Go for it.

If I hit, I like just how I just pulled out all these nice little tricks.

22.

22, in fact, hits.

Oh, excellent. If it hits, then. Then I'm gonna do one to six piercing damage.

Real good.

Is it gonna move the chimera?

It is gonna move the chimera.

Welcome to the fungal.

I do one point of damage for that, but then it moves 10ft toward me.

Wait, crossing over those again.

It failed its dexterity for bonfire. So I think it's still in the bonfire.

Yes, it's still in the bonfire.

Awesome. So it is going to take bonfire damage, plus you can roll for your spiked growth damage.

Yep.

I'll roll bonfire. You roll spiked growth and then whatever else the damage.

Yeah.

All right.

It took ten bonfire damage.

Did it roll a ten?

The bonfire normal dice is one d, eight.

Twelve points on the spikes.

Copy?

Copy.

Twelve points on the spikes. And then was there a thorn whip damage or is it just one point.

Of thorn whip damage?

Okay.

And Levine, this would be an excellent time for you to challenge me to fight you.

Yeah.

So that he has to walk back across the spikes to get you. Since he doesn't know that.

Wow.

Marshmallow yellow big brain moves over here.

That was awesome. I think in honor of gold or this episode, it's gonna be called welcome to the fungal. It's gotta happen.

Yeah.

All right, my friend, you wanna chat with the first or. I just.

I'm going to compel him, Mike.

Every s'more has his thorn.

Wow.

You're a firelight. Let me tell you something, folks at home, all I know. Is that a big golf or ghost or does him a body?

Good.

That's good.

Okay, I am going to compel you to amusing me.

All right. I need to make a wisdom saving throw.

Yes.

Of 13. How are you compelling it to duel you?

Like, what am I doing?

Yeah.

Hey, friend, will you please duel me?

I think it needs to be. Come get s'more.

Cut that part in post. Make it look like you just said it. Ready? Send. Go.

Come get smoo.

Get s'more.

That was good. I look at the what?

Don't move the dice.

You rolled a four.

Yes. Good job. Okay, so that means disadvantage on attack rolls against creatures other than you. Wait. Disadvantage on attack rolls against creatures other than you. So it still is normal against you, but not against anyone. Okay.

Yeah.

And because it needs to attack you again. That makes sense. I must make a wisdom saving throw each time it attempts to move to a space more than 30ft away from you. If it succeeds in the saving throw, the spell doesn't restrict the targets movement for the turn. Okay, awesome. Good stuff. Spell ends. If you attack any other creature. If you cast a spell that targets the hostile creature, you need a really.

Big cup of hot chocolate.

If a creature friendly to you damages the target or cast a harmful spell on it, or if you end your turn more than 30ft away from the target. Okay. All right.

Wait. Say that.

Don't pull DP's from them.

There's a line in here. If a creature friendly to you damages the target, the spell ends.

Would I be considered friendly?

I really like you. Insult him before your next turn.

Yeah.

Am I friendly?

Yeah.

I don't find my character to be.

That appealing or friendly, despite your best attempts. Considered friendly.

So, yeah.

Anybody in Bella calls him a day before she attacks, he's like, jackass.

So, yeah, it would end if you.

Were to, like, if any of us.

Yes. Yes.

Yeah. But the Camaro's turn is for yours. Yes.

So right now.

Yeah, I'm gonna smash it with my warhammer.

Go for it. Roll to hit.

Does he get stuck in the marshmallow? Oh.

Although if I do that, I'll lose the thorns. But, you know, because I have to.

Switch concentration and I have. And I have thunder smite on, too.

Right?

I have thunders might too.

You do have thunderstorm.

So I'm rolling a D 20 right now.

You are rolling a D 20. And you'll push it 10ft away if it fails. A strength saving throw.

Was it something I said or something I did?

But also your compel duel and on it.

Unreal.

The six. No, it does not.

It's back.

Would you roll the six? Did you want to use your inspiration? Yes.

And my luck coin.

Lets you roll, basically. Again, isn't that advantage?

Yeah, he doubles down, so uses the easy inspiration and the luck.

Is he a verdict? Inspiration?

He does 1414.

And did you add it? Did you add everything you needed to add to it?

What else did I do?

15. I'm gonna scream.

Or did you roll 14 and then add or do a modifier?

Rolled a 14.

Okay, so now you have to add your modifiers to it.

Okay.

You have modifiers to hit.

Where's my modifiers?

Is a plus three. Okay, that's on your action. So you hit. You do hit. Yes. All right, so you're gonna roll. You're gonna roll. You're gonna roll for me your war hammer damage and your thunderous knight damage. And then you're gonna roll for me. All the bull damage.

I'm gonna do ax. I'm gonna do my saving throw for my four year old who should not be sleeping anymore.

I'm sitting in a tree. I'm good.

I'm watching. What dice am I rolling?

Add.

Do you need more dice?

Compel duel will end after this with the spike thorn stuff.

Okay, so I didn't need, like, cast.

So one d eight, plus one for Warhammer.

Okay.

And then two d six for yours.

Thunder sitting in a tree. La u g h I n g.

I actually think about what that's.

I know, I know. I just.

I got a five on the d eight.

Five on the d eight. Okay. Plus one to six.

Okay, and what else did I need to roll?

Two d six.

I rolled a six and a three. Three on the. That's a total of nine.

Okay.

And then eight points of damage from the spikes.

Okay, dude, this thing's getting.

And then. Oh, did it hit the bonfire?

That's a good question. He's got the map.

So it gets pushed 10ft away.

10Ft away.

Where's the bonfire?

In the center of, like, the spikes, I think.

No, it doesn't.

Oh, it's not. Okay. All right. And then can you move the Chimera 10ft in whatever direction you want?

Keep him in that big square? Actually, you can push him through. You can push him through the bonfire. The bonfire is, like, in the middle of those spikes, I think pretty much.

So, yeah. If you move, let's say you move this way by Goldor and then. Yes. So bonfire is going to hit. So I'm going to hit dexterity. Saving throw and I'll let you know if you need to roll for he passes. Okay. He's right back in the middle there. Cool. All right. Where'd it put my other d 20? There it is. Okay.

It's more than words.

Anything else on your turn? That's a good turn.

I'm gonna call it on that one.

More than a feeling.

So compelled. Duel is over. Compel duel is over. And now it is the s'mores chimera turn. All right, um, I'm gonna put this here.

I think it's a turn on itself.

We tried, but it didn't work.

So now we're just hitting it.

Again.

Or you're keep hitting it.

We're just going with killing it.

You just dive into it.

Just start eating it.

Okay. Um, it is going to.

How much health does it have left? I mean we've hit it. Damage.

It's going to fly up into the air.

He does what now?

It flies.

It's like a mirror. It has dragon wings.

Like falling apart or sticky.

I'm in a tree.

We need a protel to.

The goat is going to try to hit you.

Just think of nothing.

Just think of nothing.

What did you do ray?

What did you do?

So, okay, so Ray. Okay. And then it's going to fly over behind gold or and tree. Okay. And it is going to first take a bite at tree which will hit you.

Yeah. When the marshmallows bite back, that'll hit.

For five damage to tree. And then it's going to take its lion's head and try to get gold or they lions toss.

Did anyone get a lion's toss?

A pack of opportunities.

Did it fly past anyone?

Um, okay, so.

But it hit me. Oh yeah, yeah. If it flies away.

Yeah. She gets attack of opportunity.

Opportunity on it.

Um, sure.

Okay, do your. Whatever you're doing first cause I don't wanna distract you, but don't bite that.

Sweet girl on the tree.

Sweet girl?

Don't you dare.

Yeah, I'm going to deal. Eleven damage to Goldor and I need you to make me a strength saving throw.

13 minus 213, 13.

Fails, it's going to toss you, okay, into your own bonfire.

Oh no, that's not appreciated.

I need you to make me dexterity saving throw.

Guys, suddenly got smart.

What just happened?

It's kind of learned. The fire bad now six. So sorry.

Gold or fire bad?

Two damage. So overall you've taken eleven plus 213 damage for the turn.

Wow, that's a lot of damage.

What's your health at? So I can't see it on my.

End after my 3rd. 13. Eight points damage.

Wow.

Eight health left or eight points? I'm sorry, what?

Eight points left.

Okay.

I shall heal you, my friend. Don't worry.

Lastly, now that it is no longer commanded to stop doing things, it is going to give a powerful, powerful war.

Give me that tack of opportunity before he does that. Actually.

Yeah.

Get a reaction.

Oh, you do? Yes.

Wait a second. Hang on. I get a reaction? I get before you.

Actually, before you read your reaction, like yourself first. And then I want you to do your attack.

Oh, I missed.

You missed. Okay, never mind. How about that?

I missed.

Oh, weird. Wait. Brian McConnell. Oh, pauses episode. Yeah, I think Brian D'all got hacked.

Yeah, I didn't get any.

I didn't get.

No, we don't even. I don't know what principal is. I have no principles.

All right, that's a blend.

Okay?

I get to do one to four poison damage.

I don't have a principle either.

It's one point of damage.

One point of damage.

If he doesn't, he doesn't. He gets a DC 14 con save. So.

Oh, wait, I'm sorry.

So, one, if he gets it, if he fails, a DC 14 con save failed. Then he takes one point of damage. And if that takes him down, I'll be very impressed.

It did not, unfortunately. Okay, so it's going to give between the goat, the dragon, the lion head. With a little meow, it gives a ear deafening roar. And I need you all to make me a wisdom saving throw.

Everyone.

Hey.

That wasn't terribly good.

Oh, God.

You don't want to hear mine.

Oh, I see yours. You're too awesome. I'm gonna tell you that.

Mine's a 914.

Here we go. Ready? Oh. Four. Oh, wait.

No.

Savings are.

Two.

All right, anyone who rolled a 13 or below is now frightened. You have disability disadvantage on ability, and attack rolls against it, and you cannot willingly move closer to it. Okay, so it is now going to try to fly further away. Levine, you do get an attack of opportunity, but you're rolling a disadvantage.

Okay, so what am I?

Do you have bar against person?

Yep. You can do your warhammer attack. Two d twenty is take the lower of the two.

That's better.

16. And a 716.

And a seven.

I rolled 2d, so 723.

Okay.

Okay. Yes. It is going to fly on top of this nearby tree to end its turn. We'll pretend it's in the middle, but it's not. Okay, you don't know you're on stripe.

It's just stabbing things over here.

All right, I think. I think we're secure. All right, Bell, if it's gonna be back to you, just careful. Hold on. This way. We gotta keep you all on your footage. All right, Belf, go ahead.

I mean, like, that was, like, tree to tree combat. Not that tree, to be specific.

These trees, it is 30ft high.

Now we'll say, wow, this could. This thing's getting difficult.

It's like roosting in this tree. You can hear the goat leaving. Please kill me.

Oh, yeah. Don't worry. It's coming.

All right, I'm gonna shoot it.

I'm gonna make it faster, but I'm.

Gonna use sharpshooter and take a minus five to the roll.

Okay.

To add plus ten to damage.

Awesome.

To the ground. Force it. You wanna end this? Go back to the ground.

So I'm only adding plus two to the roll. Cause I have plus seven normally. That makes sense.

Yeah, that doesn't make sense.

I'll get finished. Your conversation allowed to catch up on 19 heads.

So I'm adding. Okay, so I'm adding d 8910 plus ten. So 20 points of damage.

20 points of damage. It is not dead. But you've knocked this arrow, like, right into, like, the dragon's eye. It's actually gonna fall down from the tree. Yes. And take four additional damage and is prone on the ground.

Prone.

Tabby, stabby's Kevin.

I'm a stay in the tree.

Okay.

So as it turns to seven. Seven. I'm assuming you're changing your mandolin into a rapier at this point.

Yes.

Okay. As you turn it into a rapier seven, I can help you find your brother.

Doesn't that travel?

I mean, follow me, and together we can find Val.

Sorry.

Do you accept this power?

Can only he hear it?

Yes, only he can hear it.

I think I'm too wrapped up in wanting to find my brother to think straight. I'm gonna say yes.

Whoa. Plot twist.

Your rapier starts to shimmer as the hex blade warrior effect engulfs your rapier. You are now a fully fledged warlock.

I don't know what I just signed, but I think we'll be okay. Whoa.

Revel with advantage. Go ahead and try to do what you will against this chimera.

Okay, I'm gonna try.

Just prone cut.

Drive the hex blade into it.

Go for it. Yeah. Don't forget, whatever. Your hex. Wait, so you're going to roll to attack with your charisma modifier instead of your dexterity?

My charisma modifier for so plus three.

What's your dexterity?

My dexterity is plus two.

No, no. But you also add your proficiency, so it's really plus four.

So two plus a three is five.

Five. Sorry, five. Yes. It also says that on your features.

The best of these two.

Yeah.

Plus five.

Plus five.

Feels a major like Bruce Campbell.

Almost like the hour and a half before was worth it.

Imagine what people don't see.

You can also use your crystal modifier for the attack and damage.

Rolls that 25.

Tell me. Tell me how you kill this. Tell me how you kill this.

Finish it. And I take the blade, I stab it, and I turn around.

Goes.

Get it right.

Visceral reaction.

Yeah, I think. Wait, who was talking smack to you? There was the. Not the dumb one dragon.

So right in its. Yeah, yeah. So as you do that, like, its throat starts, like, melting chocolate and marshmallow together, and you've completely eviscerated this thing to the point where the rest of its body starts convulsing and also melting into a chocolatey marshmallowy goo.

That's for my brother. And you look delicious. Now what?

I'm gonna come down from the tree.

How do you feel? Like this.

That's literally what I was gonna go do.

We will exit combat.

Well, that's gonna do it. For this episode of campaign. We have so much left to go, and we'll be back next week. See you next time. Campaign is produced by Levine, Orlip, Liam, Bridget, and myself, Michael Hyde. I edit mixer show. Our intro voice recording was done by the one and only Coltrane. Music used in this podcast was sourced by Fanatical's 2023 music bundle featuring dark Fantasy studio. If you like campaign, we hope you'll consider going to our show notes and supporting the show. Doing so helps us put out more shows just like this one. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time.

Would now be a good time if anyone needs to bio break?

Yeah, thanks. Duh.

Sure.

I'm down with that.

Go ahead.

That was. Wow, look at that. Entering packs and playing marshmallows.

How many hit points did we have left after?

After you?

Yeah.

Like one.

Eight.

Okay.

Oh, so I just entered a lifelong pack of a demon for eight hit points. Yeah, close.