Gather your sword and board and get ready for adventure, because it's time for pain campaign. Three, two, one. Let's roll. Welcome back to our unmitigated disaster of a d and D campaign with friends, where we ask the question of what happens when we combine a coming of age summer camp with d and D and the dice of fate. Well, we're gonna find out here. Let's get started. From the murky bottom of time before time. Following a rare mushroom and set of stone, we have Mike playing Goldr of Firebeard, the honest to goodness dwarven druid who's old enough for a beard and knows how to use the shilele. When this war force lays its hands upon thee, you better hope for some divine intervention, because wooden metal still has pain and emotion, especially when there's little seagulls flying by. Mike Levine is TR 33, the war forge paladin.

That's me, guys. And I like birds.

I don't even know how to respond. I'm gonna keep going. When tracking is needed across a path that seems lost, or an arrow needs to find a target that seems too far away. Caca. We look no further than Bridget playing Belleth, our tiefling ranger who hates plants, loves adventure, and who'd rather pull at our bow than engage in pointless conversation. Unless it's with a little rat named Harold.

I wanna be on the record saying I don't like birds. So just saying.

But you are familiar with bird law?

Quote of the day. And I'm Michael Haidt, off key in rate of rock. As always, I'm playing seven, the bard. But it's not about me. I'm gonna pass it off to our good friend Liam, who puts the danger in DM, our master of ceremonies. But first, a little story from seven, the bard. So there we were, traveling in our fine boat, the box of death five, six or seven. And we had just finished up with our dear friend Maurice, the Djinn, who thought, hey, let's find some new friends to gamble with. And we gambled, we did. And some of us rolled better than others several times.

Technically, I rolled worse than.

But in this case, it worked out really well. We set ways away from our friend. Maurice said goodbye, as we said our evil genie, or good genie, into the world. And we set forth on another little boat trip. As we made our way to Shimmer Lake. Camp Shimmer Lake on Gnarltooth island. And as we looked in the sunset and the. And the nice sounds of the water splashing against our boat, seven had a. Had a moment as he went to talk to Bellath about his brother Val, that showed up like Obi Wan Kenobi in his cabin. And after that, our dear friend tree stood outside being tasked with carrying boxes and crates up above deck, only to find out that more people needed to help out. And that's where we came in. As we made our way up to the top, we found that no other than harpies were there, as harpies directed the nearest passengers off of the boat early into the water to their deaths. But we were there to stop them. Most of them, we think, to save the day. And we came forth victorious, literally killing everybody.

Yeah, you did that to yourself.

I thought 20 was a pretty good dc.

Let's try that again. And we were confronted with Harpy singing an ever so graceful song. It seemed only natural that our musician would be the first one to almost take a nosedive off the boat. Fortunately, Belleth jumped up to the crow's nest, did some fanciness, only to show us that it is possible yet to do all the damage in the first turn, only followed forward by spells and damage until Atree took out his warhammer and wanted to take some birds to the ground. We saved the day, saved the passengers. Mostly. We think we're still on the top of the boat. And as we stood there looking out on the sunset with harpy guts on the bottom of our shoes, we questioned our purpose. But on box of death six, here we go and sail off into the sunset.

So you find all of yourselves back on the top side of the ship with Captain Alara. And the passengers are going back down. Some of the deckhands are coming back up to clean up the harpies. And Captain Laurier approaches your group again and says, well, I think you've all certainly earned a hot meal tonight if you'd like to dine with the crew in a few hours. Would you mind helping out with the harpy bodies, though? I, too, tend to some business, but the deckhands are going to help out with that as well.

I'm not.

Let me just hold on a sec. No, we thank you for that fine gesture of request. We just saved people from falling off of a boat. And I don't know if Captain Alaric could hear me or not, but.

I was gonna remind everyone that you made a perception check last week where you noticed that the harpies were a little bougie and they were decked out in some goods.

Oh, so we should probably look around for some shiny objects.

I think we should. I think we should help with the bodies? Yes, and by helping the bodies help with the bodies, we should disclose the bodies ourselves.

Yes, we'll take care of all of that. Why don't we have all the passengers make their way back to their cabins?

We're here, as you say, that one deck hand dig their way to a harpy and slip a little silver ring into their pocket.

I want to stop him.

Wow. What do you do to stop him?

Hold, please. I think I would like to do.

He throws a tree. A persuasion check, please.

How are you persuading?

I want to tell him that I said, look, I saw you just picked something up. There is some really dangerous magic at play here, and some of these things are cursed. And we need to make sure that we account for all of it. So can you please take that out of your pocket and place that back on the floor?

Cursed. He takes that out of his hand. Prove to me this is cursed. I'll let you have it.

Perfect. I'm going to do intimidation check. But if you don't give it to me, I'm going to prove it to you that it's going to be cursed.

Ooh, you sound like a.

I was thinking about. So these are the options I have.

I have tauturgy.

That is so much fun.

I do too.

I'd like to do. I'd like to rethink my ways. I'd like to cast presidigitation and I would like to have it glow with a green. Have like a. Some skulls kind of like skull light kind of Come, like some skulls, like smoke kind of wisping off of it.

Oh, okay. So, yeah, and you can. You can stack that effect up to three. Three times. So three of those type of effects you can do at once.

So I would say look down at the ring. Do you see anything that appears like a skull or a green aura? I don't see anything, but if you're holding it and you see that, I would immediately put that down.

He looks at it. We have to throw this overboard.

Of course. Just give it to me. I'll take it from here.

I'm gonna grip. Make me a sleight of hand. Check.

Plus four. Thank God. All right.

You did this to yourself.

Liam learned from last time making a DC way too low, and now it's just up here.

That's a 20. Not bad.

You're able to. As he's about to hurl it back, you're able to snatch something away from him. What do you say?

I'll take that. Why don't you show yourself back to your cabin. Take it easy. This has been a lot for you. I'm nervous that this ring may have kind of left some temporary marks on you. Just do yourself a favor. Drink a lot of water, stay to yourself, and don't mention this. Don't mention this to any of the other sailors in the ship.

He gives a shudder and then makes a gesture with his hands. He takes his thumbs to his nose and goes with his fingers out. And priests each of them away from his face in opposite directions a few times, and then he turns around in a huff and goes back down.

Well, I'm. No.

Well, I would say that was weird.

And that's a lot to say to me.

Chuck, toes four.

Well, thank you for your reindeer nose.

I want Bella to go up to seven and be like, that was a very val thing to do, and then just walk away.

I'm blushing. So at this point, are we now clear of. I feel like the ghostbusters, for God's sake. Are we clear now of all the other people that would be snooping around and going through bodies?

Yeah.

Okay. So Arcana checks on these things.

Like, each of us could go to one of. Yeah, there's four of them, right?

Yeah.

So what would be. How would you. Since I'm once again learning what would be the role that we would check to see if we understand what these things do or if there's other properties.

To see if they are magical. You would make an Arcana check.

All right, let's do some arcana checks.

I guess I'm just gonna go over to one and start stealing stuff.

Sure, go ahead.

You know what? I like your way. That was very Bella for things to do. I'm not doing the Arcana check. I'm just gonna start grabbing rings as well.

I'm just gonna start throwing the bodies overboard.

Could we get them? Hold on, big. I'm holding.

Listen, guys, I'm just gonna let you know right now. This is a bad idea.

Tree.

I just. I.

Look.

Tree. There's an order. There's an order. Things first, we make sure all the magical properties are removed. Then you throw the buddies.

My number one job is to protect my family, and who knows what these things do. I'm throwing the bodies.

Tree, remind us, to the best of your knowledge, who do you remember your family to be? I think there's someone in mind.

There was someone in mind, and I am drawing a blank because my memory is so cloudy.

It was a snuffly nosed thing, my little piggy.

Yeah, I'm gonna. No, I feel like I would do too much damage if I did prestigitation.

I just know that there was a pig in my life, and his name was Snuggle.

Snuggle.

Was it snuggling?

I think the name changes. It's fine. It changes every time. It's fine. We'll talk it up to his poor memory. It's fine. Trees, poor memory. Yeah.

I turn to Goldoor and be like, well, he's distracted. Start grabbing rings. Start grabbing jewelry.

So, Goldor, we'll start with you. You're by the harpy whose chest cavity you melted in with the necklace. So, yeah, you're gonna. You're going to. So you start digging. You're gonna, unfortunately, start digging through the melted chest of the harpy to dig for the necklace. There was a silver ring on her, but if you want the necklace, you're gonna have to dig through, which is fine. Okay. Absolutely.

Wow.

Going morbid.

That was dark.

Well, we could hear Mike. That's crazy.

Wow. This gold, or is a lot darker than I realize. So people that are listening to this episode, we are in person playing we.

Need to add levity back into gold or his statements with a scottish accent. That's what adds to levity. So you. You take the necklace out, and you notice as you're removing it, like, even though it's not burning you because you're the caster of the spell, the debris, for lack of a better word around it, is still steaming, melting through. So that's definitely. If you're gonna clean everything up, that's definitely a cleanup job.

Presidigitation.

Cool.

Hope you don't mind if you do. I have a lot of questions. I don't think you did much as you like bathing.

What is this? Is this a finger?

Oh, my God. In my other campaign, I make it a point whenever there's blood to smear it on my face, my brother's like, can you stop?

So on your heartbeat, Goldwar, you find the rose gold necklace that you cast heat metal on, and you find two silver rings.

Okay. He's gonna let you know when you throw it over.

I immediately stomp over there.

I got this. So, tree, how are you picking up this half melted body?

So I extend my branch out, and I kind of just, like, scoop it up with my branch, and I kind of grab it like this. And then I fling it into the air and over the board.

You know, it's funny. Cause the saying of, like, you know, reaching a branch out is usually meant as peace. In this case, it's pieces.

One of your extraneous, like, leaves that were, like, on your wrist, like, arm area, like, burns off from the hot, like, melted body hubs. Leave. Didn't see that coming. The only thing that does not hurt is your vanity.

Do you see why I want to.

Throw them all overboard?

No pressure.

This right here.

Hey, look at my leaves. I want to cast prejudice to digitization again. I'm gonna need a nap after this. Oh. Clean you up.

Oh, wow.

Look at that.

Came back.

They grow you unknowingly, like, cleaned. Like, the microbe system that was on his, like, tree body that was keeping him alive.

Make a death saving.

It's like when you're supposed to have yogurt when you have, like, medicine.

Clorox edition.

Oh, no.

Anyway, he was a good treat.

We'll keep him with us.

Gold. Or just to end things with you. Are you checking? Are you arcana checking any of your items? Go. Hello.

What would Belle do?

Just take it.

Do I just need one check, or do I need three?

We'll say one. One check. Fine. Yeah. In the moment, let's see how magical you are.

Oh, I like that sound.

14. Yeah. With a 14, you can clearly tell, funnily enough, that the rose gold necklace does contain elements of magic. You don't know what it does yet, so I'm gonna say it now for everyone's benefits. We don't say it each time for magical items that you can detect as magical, but you don't know what they are. You need to spend a short rest with them to be able to identify them, so. Yeah, but like I said, you expect dinner in a few hours, so you can maybe explore that while.

Could tree. If we were to lay down all of the stuff in front of tree, would tree be able to detect good and evil? Like, which items were good or evil or. Not really.

I have to do something. I believe detect good and evil. I mean, it's more of, like, a.

Person instead of, like.

It's more of, like. Yeah, the type of they got relegated.

One willing creature you touch is protected against certain types of creatures.

Oh, all right. Well, thanks. I'll do. I'm inspired by Bella's speech.

No, I think you're thinking of channel divinity, divine sense. Okay. You can sense anything affected by the hollow spell or location of any celestial fiend or undead.

You think I can talk to them, or are they dead?

They're dead.

You can try talk to them in the spiritual world.

Yeah, the detective Neville wouldn't be able to tell you anything. Oh, you'd be able to tell if any object has been consecrated or desecrated with the hollow spell. So you could. You could do that if you.

So good and evil.

Yeah. So if you want to collect all the valuables from all the harpies, you can absolutely do that. And then do the detect good and evil using one of your divine sense slots, which is gonna be on your action page.

Well, who's gonna pick him up? Because I am not gonna touch them.

I'll pick him up. Put that right next to the astrolabe.

All right, so pick him up and.

Bring him over to me, my friend.

Bring him over to you?

Yes, like, well, you want me to come to you?

I just thought you were picking him up and holding on him.

No, no.

Cause I am upset because we should have tossed these over, but whatever.

Okay.

It's fine.

You know I love you, baby. I'll pick him up.

All right. I cast protection from evil and good.

No, no. On the action page, divine sense, detect good and evil.

Oh, sorry. Wrong thing.

Protection from good doesn't sound like a good idea for you.

Well, that would protect itself from his low rules.

I need to double check if this would read anything based on its description, because it does say about objects being consecrated. That's created. Um, I would say that you. You don't get anything from any of the items except for the. The rose gold necklace. But you don't know. Yes, that doesn't necessarily mean it's a good or bad thing, but you do detect something off of that.

All right, guys, here's the deal. I'm getting a little tingly feeling with that one. With gold or gold or fiery necklace.

Just also, to clarify, this doesn't identify things as magical. It just identifies their alignment, if you will.

This is a crazy question. If an item that goes into the bag of holding, is it, like. Is it considered to be separate from us? Like, if it's in there and it.

Has properties, technically, it's almost like pocket dimension space.

So if something was, like, a negative effect, it wouldn't affect the person holding the bag of holding it?

Depends on the effect. I think.

You try to kill me or.

What's that?

I was just thinking until we could figure out what they do.

Does anyone. So now that all the rings and necklaces are in the middle, does anyone else want to make another general Arcana check to see what is actually magical or not?

Yeah, sure I will.

To prove my point.

Awesome.

I was about to clean you up again, but you got yourself. That's fine. Doing great.

So, tree does not receive the help. Action.

Oh, no. You're doing great. Investigation check is plus Arcana, or investigation should be Arcana.

Okay.

Arcana is plus 215 arcana. That's not gonna help me.

What?

Eight.

I got a Nat 20.

You got a Nat 20.

Surprise, surprise. Bella rolls high.

Sorry.

I'll leave. You can keep your bed rolls.

Averages at the side of the table.

A Nat 20. You identify that. The necklace that Goldor found. Another necklace and two rings have magical properties. And I'll say with your Nat 20 to make sense of trees detect a good and evil spell. The necklace that Goldur heated up, basically, he, Goldar, doesn't know it, but you can kind of figure out that he must have had some sort of, like, divine presence in that encounter. Rebirth. As he heated that. That necklace. So that necklace wasn't necessarily. It was potentially different magically. Before Goldor heated up to extreme temperatures multiple times, I kind of gave it a rebirth, as Goldur is also searching for his. His new life.

Okay. I was gonna say, and I think I just say to Goldur, like, hey, dude, like, I think you did something with this so you could keep it.

You know, Goldurr's bane has a nice ring to it. Oh, I'll just let you keep that one. Are you gonna. If he fastens it to the top of his shilele, that would be fantastic.

I will also say that on one of the rings that you detected as magical bellith with a nat 20 there, you notice as you try to detect the magical properties you were able to elicit. It was hidden before, but you kind of made them glow with your arcane detection for a moment. Kind of like how you put, like, the one ring in fire. Like, you see the script, but, like. And then it goes away. A pair of eyes on the inside of one of the rings.

Like. Like, drawn eyes or, like.

Yeah, like, the same way you would make, like, a engraving on a ring. Like, you saw, like, a pair. Not, like, real eyes, but, like, engraved eyes. Yeah.

Do they look like they were present?

No.

Yeah, I was thinking that were they put there by, like, a five year old, or. They look like golders.

Like, ooh, what kind of eyes?

They're googly.

It looks like one was drawn in extreme detail, and then the other one was, like, giving up halfway, and it was like, let's just finish it.

It's just a natural part of life to put eyes on a ring.

Yeah. So we'll say from there, whoever has pressure digitation can help clean. Clean up the rest of the goblin trees, moving the bodies overboard.

Is that accurate?

If you would like to. So from there, after you're done cleaning, you're absolutely more than welcome to try to spend some time identifying what these items actually do in your cabin. But you're one more than welcome to explore the ship, talk to people if you want to at any point as well. Well, any thoughts?

Do you guys wanna. Okay. Do you wanna. Anybody? Why don't we take these things, and maybe we'll check back in with each other after we do some investigating for a little bit.

Who's taking what item as far as.

The way guys wanna go together.

There's two necklaces, two ranks.

I'm gonna go protect the hallway for Goldur so he can sleep.

So they're not gonna be sleeping, but you're gonna be short resting.

All right, I give tree the nod, like, just protect him, please. And then I'm gonna go with Bella. So maybe we could start figuring out what these things do. Basically, in the short rest, we have one. One item out of the. So if bailiff and I were hypothetically looking at the four items and tree was in the hallway and oral was sacrificing small animals, we would only be able to figure out two of the four items on our own.

I would assume three. Cause I figured Goldur is gonna be one, and then you'd each do one.

Yeah.

So it'd be one of those.

One over.

Yep.

Could tree do that safely in the hallway?

Yeah, as long as he's, like, just doing downtime, resting things.

So maybe we'll keep the door cracked open for trees. All right.

Okay.

Is that cool with you guys?

Yeah.

Oh, we have to figure out who took what, so I know you took the rose gold necklace, goldor. It's like the ring with the eyes. Yeah. Cool. There's one more necklace, and there's one more ring.

What do you want?

I guess I'll take the ring.

You don't want a man of your stature. I think the necklace would be nice in you.

Sure, whatever. I don't want it anyway.

All right, I'll go drink. Oh, my God.

Tree got an attitude all of a sudden.

Wow.

I told you to get rid of these guys. I don't like it.

Apparently it's a necklace with plus five to opinions. Why don't we.

All right, so we will start with Bella. So, Bella, what would your character do to try to start figuring out how this thing works?

I feel like she would just look at it and then just turn it around and look at it again, and then just, like, turn it around. Like, just straight up staring at this.

Thing in your kind of, like, intense. You know, like, when you have that intense focus where, like, your thoughts are and such one thing that, like, the rest of your body starts working and, like, you could. You could drop something. You drop the ring, and it falls, like, under your cot. You have no idea where it is. Then you feel a small tinkling at the base of your neck, and you know exactly where that ring is. Without even looking at it, you could pinpoint where that ring is. This is a ring of tracking.

Ooh. Right above.

You know where this ring is at all times.

So I know where the ring is at all times. That's cool.

So you could place this thing on something and then. And follow it.

That's sick.

Wait, you just need a gin legitimately. Have a dungeons and dragons air. Tag.

Let's go to seven.

Yes, seven.

You took the other necklace.

No, I took the ring.

Okay, he was.

I took the ring, but then he was like, you know what? You should have the necklace. And he gave me the necklace instead of.

Yeah, so, seven, what are you doing?

I look at Bella and I.

You guys are rooming together?

Well, we're just hanging out to you.

Okay. Yeah.

I'm gonna look at her, and I'm gonna start spinning it around.

As you're spinning it around, I'm assuming you have your mandolin case near you at all times.

Yes.

You accidentally kick your mandolin case, and you scuff it up. What do you say to that? It's, like, internally or out loud?

It's a PG podcast.

Enough said. Enough said. As.

As you.

As you have these thoughts of frustration, the. The ring glows, and the case becomes whole once more. No scuffs. You found a ring of mending.

So this is. This isn't just a matter. This is, like, different. The precipitation. This isn't just, like.

Yeah. Oh, by the way, as I'm reading these things, I've created these on D and D beyond. You can actually add them to your inventories.

Wow, you are. You are really responsible.

Very cool.

It's a ring of mending. Ring of mending. What's yours called? The ring of tracking.

Yeah. Ring of tracking.

It's like we're superheroes now.

Spicy. Let's go.

Does mine have eyeballs, too?

Let's go to tree. Tree. What are you doing? As you're trying to figure out this, you got the necklace.

So I'm standing there in the hallway, and I'm like, kind of just like, what is this thing? Like, I don't know. I'm just kind of, like, twirling.

You're really put off by it, huh?

Twirling the necklace around like this, around my branch, and kind of just about to, like, let it loose, but I hold onto it. Cause everybody wants me to have it.

So everybody's really intent on you having.

And, you know, I don't want my family to hate me, so I kind of just, like, keep twirling it around in the hallway while I'm bored protecting everybody.

So you take as much care with magical objects as you do with bags of holding.

So, tree, explain why you're in the hallway.

I am on protection duty.

Cause, so what does it say about you?

I am a man of honor protecting my family.

Which nobody asked for. But that's okay.

It doesn't matter.

I'm still here.

Fresh now.

Still gonna do it.

I am a tree, not a man.

You're just gonna keep on protecting, aren't you?

So you're like. You're looking out for your friends. You're trying to help them, and, like, astronaut and you're. And you're almost like, I wish. I wish I had a helping hand. And as you think that a spectral hand appears in air and you find that you have full control over it, you found the necklace of helping, which allows you to cast a cantrip mage hand at will.

What?

So I'm looking at this astral hand, and I'm like, oh, my God.

My God, I'm so glad I didn't.

It waves at you. He doesn't realize he's waving to himself.

But, like, I just start, like, jumping up and down like a giddy kid in the hallway.

Is there an earthquake?

I open your door. I'm like, is it okay?

It's an actual hand.

I close it as Belfast is closing the door. I'll be like, you're gonna name it.

Goldor. Are you hanging with the rest? Or are you on your lonesome in your cabin? Okay, so you kind of have, like, maybe, like, a little bit, like, of an idea now that you've had your experience with this necklace. But what are you doing to kind of investigate this?

Well, I'm gonna sit down and I'm gonna meditate, as dwarves do with. Well, it's a bit of a. It's a bit of a bit of throat singing. It probably sounds like this.

With the sound of it.

Where was this guy? Cough.

Oh, my God.

Dorf could carry a tune. Huh? This sounds great. He's kind of like.

He's like a magician.

So you feel like the only thing that could help you meditate more right now is, like, some, like, background noise and, like, some warmth. And as you have your eyes closed and you're kind of just like, feeling like this. This necklace. You feel some heat in front of you. Do you open your eyes? You have created a full on bonfire in your room. This is a necklace of warmth. And it allows you to cast, create bonfire at will. You did just do this on a boat. So you are given. You are actually. Unfortunately, you are actually in the bon. This is a small room. This is in the bonfire space. I need you to make me a dexterity saving throw.

Oh, no.

And that was the story.

1414.

I want, like, the hand to, like, look back at you. Like, almost like he's shrugging his hands. Like, what are you gonna do?

No, 14 absolutely passes your spell. DC is 14. Correct?

13.

Oh, so you passed by more than I thought. Awesome.

Can I use my ring of bedding to patch up the hole in the boat?

He's gonna make some mushroom coffee now.

So. Yeah, you. You get.

You.

You quickly get to one of the corners of the room. And do you. Let's see. Can you actually put up this fire until this fall? You could. You could end. You can concentrate on it for 1 minute. Do you put it out now or do you keep it going?

I think I'm gonna put it out now.

Fantastic. So the fire goes out and, you know, it's like somewhere some. Some damage the floor, but not enough to have created like, a hole through the floor.

Fix your shirt.

So you can now cast, create bonfire. But the necklace is actually called necklace of warmth. So that's what you look for when you add it to your inventory.

For those people at home and for people sitting directly across me that don't know how to play this game, how do you add something like that to your inventory?

So are you at your inventory?

I am.

Click manage inventory.

Got it.

And then search for what I tell you. I told you. Ring of mending.

So under filter, you just type it in there. Search. A ring of ending. Nope.

No. I might build ending.

Oh, is it? Maybe it's needle amending. No, that's not yours.

Oh, that is so weird.

Sorry, seven, you don't get it. Give me the ring bag.

It's there.

You're just.

Did you want to manage inventory management to add items?

Okay, manage inventory didn't work for me.

Either, which is weird.

Like the search.

Where's the filter? Right. Filter search. Yeah.

Ring of mending. It comes up for me?

Really?

I know why it's coming up. Not for me. Because I should be able to.

Yeah.

Do I need to check? None of the things are checked off. The proficient common magic and then necklace.

Of warmth also come.

No, cuz this is. It's not working for me either. Which is.

Have you tried to restart your computer?

I put it in rice.

Oh, yeah. Hold on.

Helping is not coming up.

I could change the state of food and I can fix shirts.

Well, not yet you can.

Not yet, I can't. But I could warm up your. I could make your drinks cold.

I can find a ring just in case that's something that needs to happen.

Side note, I am so curious what you're gonna do with this thing.

Listen, I.

It's like you can like. Oh, man. Imagine if you throw it on Crombie's son's stuff and then just followed him. Yeah, he's up to no good.

I'm pretty sure his son is my friend.

Then of course he's upset. Do I really have friend friends?

I mean, we will get that sorted later, but if you. So you can cast mending for now. If you want to bring up like, the mending spell on your page. That way you can just refer to it.

Share content on with everybody.

I do. Let me double check that. Just in case I had ever go.

Back to where, like, it says to put in your character name.

It says, like, characters and levels. Okay.

And then, like, hit the back arrow twice. And it should say, like, character preferences. And then homebrew content needs to be turned on. Yeah. Yeah. So turn on homebrew content. No. Yeah, just turn on homebrew content and then just go back to your character sheet.

Thank you, Bella. I feel like everyone ended up with an item appropriate for them. I did not plan that.

Oh, you did?

That was crazy. Yeah, that was.

Other than the fact that I placed gold or next to the. I mean, the necklace worked out, but.

So I could have ended up with mage hand if I did the swap arousi with you.

Well, I knew something was gonna be good for me because your eyes were like, ooh, what is it?

Are you supposed to have mending? I don't know.

And I was supposed to have yours.

You would have had mending. And you would have.

And how do you feel about it? I'll let you choose. Are you good with. You got.

Yeah. You haven't. I'll say you. Normally we wouldn't do this, but we'll do it this time. You can attune to them right now from this experience. So there should be an option to attune. Normally, that would be another separate option.

Bind on equip.

Yeah. So if you would like to swap before you fully do that, I will let you swap and then attune do you want.

What does the hand do?

You could pick under ten pounds, right?

It might be. Yeah, I think it's ten. Let me see.

You can, like, open things with it.

Yeah, it's a hand. It's like that confluence, like. So, like, you know, if you drop something overboard, you can use that hand to go get it.

How about mending? What does mending do?

Mending. Let me read it. This spell repairs a single break or tear in an object you touch, such as a broken chain link, two halves of broken key, a torn cloak, a leaking wineskin. As long as the break or tear isn't larger than 1ft in any dimension, you mend it, leaving no trace of the former damage. The spell can physically repair a magic item or construct, but the spell cannot restore magic to such an object.

Hmm.

Yeah, I'm good with the hand.

Cool.

I'll keep the hand.

I think I can have fun with this.

So, mage hand for tree, a spectral floating hand appears at any point you choose within range. The hand lasts, which is 30ft. The hand lasts for the duration, or until you dismiss it as an action. The hand vanishes if it is ever more than 30ft away from you, or if you cast a spell again. You can use your action to control the hand. You can use the hand to manipulate an object, open an unlocked door or container, store or retrieve an item from an open container, or pour the contents out of a vial, for example.

Oh, my God. That's sick, dude.

You can move the hand up to 30ft each time you use it, and it can't attack, activate magic items, or carry more than ten pounds.

Can it follow me around like a familiar or a friend?

Ooh.

What are you gonna call it?

I'm gonna call it. I don't know. I've never really had a hand before. Cause my hand is. My hands are branches.

So, like, you can just go branch.

Extension. You got thing.

Thing.

Oh, I like that.

Our lawyer is just called branch.

I'm gonna call. Does it have five fingers?

Do you want it to have five fingers? Oh.

Imagine if his mage hand looked like a wood instead of a hand.

You know what? It's a harpy hand hand now.

Wait, wait.

What's that? What's the hand from super smash brothers?

That is, like, the master. Master hand.

Master.

That is terrifying. That it's a hard one.

That's crazy. Let's do that one.

Wait, what's that one called?

Brawl. There was the other hand.

Oh, like the. Like one of the last bosses you fight.

Yeah, it's like the opposite hand of the master hand.

Oh, man. I feel like you just creepy. Good luck there. Level. Good.

Oh. It's literally called the crazy hand.

The crazy hand.

I would call it the crazy hand. It's gonna sound like an Ozzy Osbourne episode every time you mention it.

It looks like this in the picture.

All right.

I mean, every time you say crazy.

Hand, I'm gonna wanna say, I. I.

Just found the name of this episode.

So the first thing I'll say is make sure everyone takes a short rest. You can do this by going to your character page. And there is a short rest button with a little bonfire.

Yes. So wait, see, so it says automatically apply healing with dice roll, right?

Yes.

And then the bard. What is that?

You might have a bard feature that does more things.

Okay. But I could do the confirm. So I could do that thing for everybody. Right, with the song of rest? Yeah.

Yes. But I think they have to do that manually after or I'm not sure.

Do we take your hit points back, you said?

Yeah. And he changes colors.

Yeah, I just randomly, accidentally clicked on him and he goes away. That's like, really cool.

So song arrest. If you or any from the creatures who can hear your performance, regain hit points at the end of the short rest by spending one or more hit dice, each of those creature gains an extra one d six hit. So you could all roll a d six. If you do that, you can all roll d six and add that to your HP tree. I believe you're at full health.

I am. I think I had, like, one or two hit points of damage, but now I'm full health.

Four. Nice. This going off the rails on the.

Crazy train spell slots don't get reset, right?

It depends on the class, but generally, no.

How about bardic inspiration? Is that also considered a spell slot?

That should have, if that is not a spell slot, but if it's part of your short rest feature, that would have reset as well.

Let's see where that is. Oh, long rest, sugar beans.

So this is what I'm going to kind of ask of you. All right. Now, as you come back together as group, after all, kind of identifying your items and, like, doing a little introspection. The other thing I'll say you recall from last session is that you noticed that the crew was looked very fed up as after this harpy attack and things like that going around the table or as a group, if you want to discuss. Is this something that you're gonna look into or you're kind of keeping your head down until you get to the island?

It feels like it's explosive. Like you said, when they were questioning the. It looked like when they were really questioning the captain on our last session, I feel like it's like they're gonna kind of overthrow the ship if things go wrong.

Wait, what?

So, the. The people we were finishing up with, the Harpies last session, remember?

Yeah.

They were a couple of the crewmates, as I so politely tried to rename the ship box of death six. They looked like they had it up to here.

Yeah, they were, like, over it. Right?

Yeah. So. Hmm.

Mm. Mm mm.

I guess I'm gonna leave the decision making up to you guys. Cause nobody listens to me anyway.

You know what?

Say something, and they'll do the opposite. That's how you get what you want.

Yes. I think that amulet is cursed. It's giving you a lot of thoughts. Do we want to get involved in this situation?

I mean, is there really our problem?

I guess as long as a boat gets there, like, if it's gonna get.

There, it's gonna get there, I guess.

Let's think about this for a second. We took care of the harpies.

Like, we've already. Yeah, we've already done that enough favors.

Well, I guess we're gonna really earn our right as heroes, as sitting back and waiting to see what happens.

Can't get my feet up.

As a reminder, you have two rich of experiences, or two bits of experience.

You mean, like extras?

Remember, you got the other one from water after the haunted ship.

Meaning, like, in terms of, like, having a value. Like, we can take the captain with us to camp with us? What do you mean?

No, no, I was just reminding you. You're saying we have to, you know, earn our keys.

Oh, right. We already earned it.

Yeah.

And then some.

Yeah.

Maybe we could trade one of these in for, like, a drink.

You know, personally, I'm over the ship.

You're over the ship?

Yeah.

That also could be an episode.

So what we will do, though, then, is we will quickly move to dinner, and then we'll long rest for a morning.

Okay.

All right. So it's gonna be an interesting night.

I believe.

So a passenger comes by your cabins to call you for dinner. It's actually the passenger that you all saved.

I intercept the passenger because I'm in the.

Okay. Hello? I just wanted to let you guys know it's dinner time. I don't suppose you eat as a tree? I mean, they have water. But I just wanted to thank you for all that you've done for me and mine. Because we would not be here right now if it weren't for you all.

Thank you, small creature. But no thanks is needed. Because we are heroes and that's what we do ours in training.

Wow. In that case.

Tree, is that dinner?

I don't have any sort of reward I can give give you for saving me. But my cousin does owe me a favor. Small caveat. My cousin is in Shimmer Lake city, right near Camp Shimmer Lake. So if you could deliver this letter to her, she will aptly reward you. I promise.

Hold the phone there. I'm just going to refer to my friends because they don't like when I make decisions by myself. So hold that thought. And then I extend my branch arm on to.

You have a mei chan now.

Oh yes, that's right.

I send the creepy harpy.

I'm Toland.

Toland. Oh, Toland. Hold on there 1 second, my friend. I am just gonna call my faithful crazy hand here and I'm going to to send him to go knock on Belliff's door because I may need some help with this request.

Tell him to leaf you alone.

So my mage hand comes over. It knocks on the door.

Belliff literally shakes. Wait, is this like a creepy harpy hand, right?

Yes.

Like it looks like.

Yes, 100%.

I do. I know that he has this mage hand.

Uh, no.

No.

Right.

Okay.

I didn't think so.

You should knock your bell like immediately.

So Bella opens the door and goes, haleth. What? Get rid of the hand.

Uh, this is. This is my friend. I call it crazy hand.

Crazy hand.

Crazy hand. I will. I will withdraw him. Come back. Come back, crazy hand. There's a friend over here. What's his name again?

Toland.

Toland. That's right, Toland.

I'm sorry for disturbing you all, but I wanted to thank you all again for saving me. And to let you know that it was dinner time. I was telling your friend here that I don't have anything to pay you or reward you for saving me. Unfortunately, because I was actually at Pyroglow to settle up some debts. But I do have a cousin who owes me a favor in Shimmer Lake City. So I was gonna say, if you, in between your hearing, could deliver this letter, you can get something from her. I guarantee it.

With all the screaming, would I have been able to be aware of. Perfect. Can I just take a really good look at him? Just roll. Would I recognize him from any of the crew members that looked frustrated with the captain? From.

He's not a crew member. He's a passenger.

Passenger.

But he's one of the extra people that. Yeah, that was brought on board last second before the trip left.

Okay.

So if you want to roll an insight check, you absolutely can.

I guess I will.

As you come to the door, I.

Just kind of want to see if his intentions seem honorable.

While you do that, I want to ask, like, what's the letter say? Am I gonna get in trouble for holding this?

Oh, absolutely not. It is sealed. But absolutely, like, you're not gonna get in trouble.

17.

It's just a letter.

17. By the way, great accent. 17. Far better than Minnesota.

You. So with a 17, you can you kind of see them? Like, something like, this will be a really big help to me. I, you know, had a lot of debt, and now I'm an even worse situation. So this would save me a whole trip to. To shimbalik city that I cannot afford.

And as he says that, I rip it out of his hands. And I say, I got you, buddy.

Oh, sure you didn't equip this? I'm sorry. Please. Sleight of hand.

Check, please.

Oh, my goodness. Talon. Please excuse our friend ripping out of people's hands. I think he misunderstood as a polite gesture. I think he got confused again.

You can roll me. Sleight of hand. All right.

Sleight of hand, not sleight of hand.

Oh, do you want some dice?

I was gonna say in person.

You gotta roll.

All right. So I could just run, right?

Yep. And then you add your modifier.

That's like Bridget. Throw the dice out after.

What was that? Wait, what is that?

Is that a one?

I have. I have his roll, so.

Did he just roll matter? Did you just roll one?

It was two.

Protection for.

From good roll.

The natural three. I thought this was in the bag. Wait, what's your modifier?

My modifier? It's probably minus slightly slight of hand.

Two bleeds, so you got a four, so you beat the three.

I just. Wait, could you. I'm sorry. I don't want everyone to tell you how to do your job. Could you just narrate how this goes down? Because I really want to know how a four to three works.

Tree swipes the letter out of Toland's hand after I just ask for help from my friends. Fully crushes it in his hand.

Does the mage hand react of like. Are you kidding me?

It kind of goes. Yeah, it goes like.

I go. Okay, okay, buddy, buddy.

No, please give it to me.

Reach out.

Swatted out of his head. It would go flying up in the air. He'd grab for it, miss. Totally grab for it, miss.

As I shake my head, can I cast mending on the letter?

Like something in a crest?

Yeah.

Wow.

There you go.

Smart.

The letter glows.

Digitization and mending apparently goes back into one piece.

Damage control.

Thank you so much. I would have had to write that letter again. It was painful enough writing that letter the first time.

Don't worry, Talon. It was painful enough to watch. It's totally understandable.

Listen guys, I just gotta throw this out there. I messed up.

Anyway, dinnertime. Good luck to you all. And thank you for this favor.

All right, just. We'll see you dinner. And if we spill things, please don't be offended. Well, mending does have a purpose everyway.

It's a good thing you had it too.

Okay, so to move forward from here, we'll say you guys kind of like, you got to dinner and like half the crew is like kind of like in like good spirits. Like they're back at sea from their like, you know, because their last ship was taken by pirates and the other half of the crew is like looking very sullen and like shooting daggers at Olara. But you get through the dinner unscathed, nothing happens. Anything else before you want to take your long rest then? And the captain at dinner tells you we were able to repair the ship. We're gonna get to Norltooth island by shortly before noon.

Can I take a mental inventory of anyone that looks extremely frustrated with the captain or if there's any one particular that stands out as.

Make me a perception check.

Okay, everyone, join me in this voyage of hoping to find anyone who's in danger. Alright. Perception. Perception. Perception. Go. Mike, you unrolled. No, no, I was fighting. All right. Oh, oh, you remember when you got a two? Mine has a zero. After it, I'm gonna do perception. 23.

23. Not 20.

Yes.

Oh, you should have said okay within that 20 at the dinner, you do notice that the seven year. So seven, you're going around and you're being you. You're trying to provide your, your. Even though no one asked you, you're providing entertainment for the dinner as you give them a tale of like your. Your own group. Like that. No one asked for the song of the Harley. And as you're walking around. So the dining room is very cramped because a lot of people in here are extra because you guys are there for the night. And right behind that is the little kitchenette where they're cooking clay pots and little brick ovens that are built into the ship. And you notice the cook, a tall man with red hair, slips something into Captain Allara's dish.

Who notices it? It's a little extra seasoning.

Yeah. Something tells me this is not gonna taste good.

Wait, did we all notice it?

Nope.

Just seven. Unless anyone else wants to make a perception check. But he rolled an at 20. That's like the. You got what you. You're gonna get.

So I can't interfere.

Basically, I gave the option to skip my. Listen, we can get to the island.

We're gonna get a hard time getting to the island with a dead captain. Do I have enough time to talk in general?

You guys know that there. You know, the. There are other positions on the ship that would fill in that position should the captain die. Oh, that's like I say, common knowledge during this time.

Excuse me for 1 second. I just want to gather around. It feels like. Okay, I'm gonna. Are they within proximity or at my party?

You're all, like, in this dining room kitchen area.

I'm going to quickly inform the party as I play crazy train, talking to them, letting them know that I think that we just got. The captain just got poisoned, and we.

So you're doing this as you perform. Give me a performance. Check this. Like, how? Like.

Oh, jeez.

Okay, I'll say this.

Give me a time where I roll like a zero, right?

No, no, wait. Don't roll yet. Seven. Don't roll yet. I will not get a second. D 20.

Oh, boy. Here we go.

All right, well, this is good because this is. Now we're rolling with.

You're gonna roll me both deception and performance at the same time.

Oh, my God.

On both of them. DC 15. So both needs to pass for you to be successful.

Oh, so if either of them fail, I don't get it.

Correct.

Oh, good. I cast many of my dice. Nope. Oh, 19.

And I.

And I can't give myself a modifier.

You know? You got. You got.

Oh, I did. Okay, so what were this?

215 for both.

I'm sorry.

What was performance?

Okay, so performance plus seven. So that's still. Okay.

Yeah.

And deception plus five. I'm good.

Okay.

Good job, buddy.

Good thing.

What's his strength?

As you're going around salt through the harp. He poisoned the captain. It looks really bad.

And then, like, strings a bad name.

So, like, you're basically, like, going, like, weaving in and out of the table. Like, as you. Like, you lean out when you're singing, but you lean into, like, your party members as, like, you're telling them, like, the message. So how do you all react?

What is he saying? Anybody know what he's talking about?

Tree, just for a second, make me an intelligence chat.

Oh, God. I want his hand to react as, like, complete, utter, like, annoyance 16.

No modifier.

So I feel like at this point, with a 16, you understand? You just don't want to believe it.

Okay, so, guys, you know, he, you know, says talking about this captain being poisoned.

Also, you're also fully in the, you know, the dining room area.

I can cast. I could cast president and make this food either super hot, super cold or spoiled. But I need to know if I'm gonna do this or not.

I don't know.

I don't give it a putrid stuff smell so that you won't eat it.

Do we want to stop this from happening?

I don't care.

I said absolutely.

I don't care.

Absolutely.

I do not care.

I don't care. Other than the fact that another captain might not take us where we want to go, I say we are honorable people and we should do the right thing.

Speak for yourself.

The only thing that I'm thinking, guys, we have to get to this camp when a certain amount of time before it starts. Any delay could slow us down. It can be problematic. Oh, Jesus Christ.

That's why I'm. I will pause it. You're only on the ship for one more day anyway.

All right, I'm at a prestidigitization.

Out of your hands.

Regardless, by morning, save the captain prestidigitation, make the food spell rotten.

Captain save the world. What?

Save my. Thank you.

I can't describe how much I don't want to be doing this right now. Oh, my God.

So what are you doing, Simon?

Reluctantly. I'm gonna turn towards the drink, and I'm going to cast president digitation and make it smell putrid.

And you say, I am decaptin now.

I'm d, captain.

So as you all start eating, alar tastes of food goes. Oh, that is disgusting. Roark, you've got to change something in the recipe I bought you. Salt.

Why? Did someone put salt in their drink?

No, no. Who's the food?

Oh, just kidding. We're good. Never mind. Imagine if I did the wrong thing. Don't worry.

She's telling with this cocktail.

Exactly. Oh, you don't want to fix this exactly.

So captain lard just doesn't end up eating after that. She kind of lost her taste after that first bite or her appetite after that first bite. Do you try to catch her after dinner or calling it a night?

I think I'd be more concerned in following the person that did the seasoning. Can we keep an eye on the person that did the.

During dinner or, like, after dinner? You're saying both? Nothing else happens during dinner. Cause they served dinner. That was it. So after dinner, so he's, like, cleaning up the kitchen with some deckhands and then do you stay in the dining room kitchen area after the meal's over at least?

I have an idea. I also think we should maybe do this. Would it be crazy for us to kind of tell the captain to stay in their quarters and give the impression the captain's feeling very sick and then just see kind of the reaction?

I say we cast my crazy hand and have my crazy hand slap the.

What is it that you think this hand does that you goes right across.

And slaps the cook in the face?

You don't have to stop.

Attack.

Yeah, man, you're giving this hand a lot of credit. I I don't know. What do you guys think? I go to bed jealous, cares not ow.

I'm like, this lady was mean to me. I do not care.

That's accurate, Goldor.

I don't really care. So why don't them go to bed and you and I confront the cook?

Cause that's always gone well, hasn't it? I'll tell you what. All right, I'm gonna. How would you. Do you wanna kinda ever so gracefully go for a walk and kind of patrol?

Yeah, I'll go for a walk and patrol. All right, I'll guard the door. You talk to the cook.

All right, I'm gonna do that. I wanna talk to the cookie. All right, but I think I'm going to. You know what I think I should do?

Break out of this hole.

I'm just gonna. I could do that. Did I get a good look at the other. At the other crew members?

Why'd you poison the cats? So would it have been in your nature? You'd be able to recognize your faces, whether or not you know the names is how personable you were at dinner.

I think I'm gonna look to someone.

To, like, get to like, oh, hi. Who are you?

Yeah, I think the one of the other, maybe one of the other cooks in the kitchen, I probably would have gotten a good impression of what one of them would look like, right?

I mean, one of the other cooks.

Yeah, one of the other cooks.

There's one like, main cook.

Yeah.

You know who the cook is?

And then maybe one of the waiters or the other helpers.

Right.

Mike, can you charm perfect.

I mean, they were all kind of like. They were all kind of like, pitching into, like, serve everything.

And I think I'm going to just go on my quarters for a quick second and I might just change my charm person. Oh, I'll do you one better.

I see what you're saying. That would be a really useful thing.

To be able to do.

That is a good idea.

I will say with your nat 20.

Yes.

You got a good look at the quartermaster.

Kaylin, Kaylin, Kaylin. I can do a Kalen impression. Katelyn, I'm going to pop in my quarters, pop back out, and I'm gonna look at tree and say, don't freak out. I still me on the inside.

No idea what that means.

Not.

Well. That's gonna do it for this episode of campaign. We have so much left to go and we'll be back next week. See you next time. Campaign is produced by Levine, Orlip, Liam, Bridget and myself, Michael Haidt. I edit mixer show. Our intro voice recording was done by the one and only Coltrane. Music used in this podcast was sourced by Fanatical's 2023 music bundle featuring dark Fantasy studio. If you like campaign, we hope you'll consider going to our show notes and supporting the show. Doing so helps us put out more shows just like this one. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time.